Something In the Air
by Zebeckras
Summary: Webfoot continuity. FOWL is after the Philosopher's Stone, and Darkwing is called on by SHUSH to save it. But Darkwing finds himself strangely distracted by Beth, as does every other man in the vicinity.
1. Prologue

Darkwing Duck: Something In the Air

* * *

Prologue

SHUSH Agents Featherby and Quillson, unidentifiable in their Department of Minerals uniforms, were escorted up to the labs in an efficient fashion that afternoon. Dr. Horton Powers, the scientist with whom they were meeting, had seemed reluctant to make an appointment to see them, despite their undercover titles. Small wonder though, really, since most of the "professional" interviews Dr. Powers had been involved in had turned out to be exploitational hype-fests, on the same level as tabloids. Agent Quillson had taped poor Dr. Powers on "A Modern Affair", the so-called news magazine show, where the elderly doctor had been railroaded by questions until his discovery began to sound like an elaborate farce which the television program had made up.

After some assurances that the Department of Minerals representatives were on the level (and, ironically enough, they were more on the level than the other groups who had taken an interest in the doctor), Dr. Powers had agreed to meet with them to discuss allowing their organization to take over the research on his discovery.

That discovery was, as far as anyone could prove, the Philosophers' Stone: a legendary stone coveted by alchemists hundreds of years ago, said to be of a substance so pure that its properties could actually elevate lesser metals to gold. The doctor had stumbled onto it a few weeks ago, and while so far the proof that the stone was truly the Philosophers' Stone of legend wasn't concrete, the doctor swore that the stone genuinely did complete the transformations of metals into gold, through and through. Lead, aluminum, and copper had so far been transformed.

SHUSH felt that, logically, they had better get their hands on it soon. The more time that passed, the more likely that the potentially powerful stone would fall into the wrong hands. Already, the doctor claimed, he was getting offers of millions of dollars for the stone. An organization like the Fiendish Organization for World Larceny, however, was not likely to offer any sum for such a prize.

The SHUSH agents stepped off the elevator and into a lab that rivaled their own R&D building in complexities, if not size. Dr. Powers, a short balding duck, greeted them brusquely. "Messrs. Featherby and Quillson, is it? And what is this urgent business we have to discuss?"

Featherby looked hesitant. "Perhaps this would be better discussed just between the three of us," he said, indicating the escort who had brought them upstairs. She looked insulted, but after Dr. Powers waved her along, she left with a huffy sniff. Featherby relaxed a bit. "Dr. Powers, we at the Department would be happy to offer you as much as you feel the Stone is worth in exchange for it. We feel that, with our labs and background, we'd have the necessary resources to study it in more depth-"

Dr. Powers gave a brief, humourless laugh. "My good gentlemen, you'll pardon my scorn, but thus far no one seems to realize why the offers of money mean nothing to me." He indicated a pile of golden lumps in the corner, and turned to look at his visitors levelly.

Quillson cleared his throat. "Quite a haul you have there, doctor," he said, and smiled.

"Yes," said the doctor. "I'm aware of that. So you see why I can easily refuse all the offers to buy this stone. Frankly, I have yet to meet anyone who strikes me as being worthy of its ownership."

"We don't want to own it, sir," Featherby said. "We want to study it. You would, of course, be given full credit for its discovery-"

"Then why not let me research it?" This was clearly the doctor's point of contention. "From the start, everyone has tried to take this stone out of my control, from those ludicrous interviews to those who are trying to buy it to gain their fortune in gold, to you men. I'm not so old that I can't properly study a rock, you know!"

"Well, sir-" Featherby began, but Quillson interrupted him. Featherby, who had not managed to finish a thought since he arrived, pulled a face.

Quillson spread his hands in front of him. "Doctor," he said in his most convincing manner, "we do have an alternative motive for coming here. But it's not what you think." Ignoring his companion elbowing him in the side, Quillson continued despite Dr. Powers's look of dislike. "We're here to make sure that the stone doesn't get into the wrong hands."

"And what are the wrong hands, Mr. Quillson?"

Quillson looked at Featherby, who sighed and nodded. "There are powerful organizations out there, doctor, who are going to do whatever they can to get at this stone. We are here to make sure that, no matter what it takes, those organizations don't get their hands on something this powerful. We believe that we are uniquely qualified to keep your discovery safe, and at the same time continue your research in a manner you would approve of."

Powers, who by now was looking simultaneously skeptical and curious, asked, "And just who are you?"

Featherby stepped forward, flashing his ID. "We're with the government."

"Yes, I know," the doctor nodded, scowling. "The Department of Minerals."

"Different branch," Featherby said sheepishly. He tapped the ID, and Dr. Powers peered at it more closely. His eyes widened as he saw the SHUSH insignia, and he looked back up at the Agent before him. Featherby nodded.

"Need to know basis," Quillson said, barely suppressing a grin. The straight-faced FBI agent was his favourite act to go into. "Strictly hush-hush."

Dr. Powers's attitude changed again, abruptly. "Gentlemen," he said, straightening and clearing his throat, "I- I apologize for my former distrust. But there have been a large number of, well, cranks-"

"Perfectly understandable, doctor," Quillson said reassuringly. "You were trying to protect your discovery, and that's just what we're trying to do. Do you think we can come to terms which are acceptable to your standards?"

"Money isn't important," Dr. Powers said, crossing the room to fetch the Philosophers' Stone from its case. "If you continue my research, as you say, I'll agree."

Featherby and Quillson smiled as the doctor approached them with his precious discovery. All three men were startled by a sudden laugh from the doorway of the lab.

A tall, well-dressed rooster stood leaning against the doorframe. "Well, I had a bet runnin' with some of the boys that we'd beat SHUSH here. Guess I'm out five bucks," he said, his tone snide. He didn't flinch as Featherby and Quillson both dropped to defensive positions, drawing their guns on him fluidly. Dr. Powers took a step back, nearlydropping the stone on his way.

The FOWL Eggmen seemed to come out of nowhere, all at once. While they were looking at Steelbeak, the Eggmen came from behind, from windows and closets and who knew where else. Featherby was taken completely by surprise, incapacitated by a blow to the head before Quillson spotted the danger to his partner. He fired a couple of shots, as Dr. Powers screamed at him to stop, it was damaging his lab... An Eggman went down, clutching his shoulder in pain, but Dr. Powers jumped in his way to protect his equipment and Quillson was forced to hold his fire.

He kicked an Eggman in the stomach, only to be tripped by two more and be clubbed when he fell. He clung to consciousness as long as he could, but another stomp to his head was too much for him. He blacked out, hearing Steelbeak's irritating cackle in his ears as he lost his hold.

Dr. Powers held tightly to the Philosopher's Stone, backing away from the menacing rooster who was now walking towards him. "You can't have this! I'll never give it to the likes of you!"

The rooster laughed again, in an especially grating way. "Ya don't have a lotta choice here," he said smugly. Too late, the doctor noticed that the thugs dressed in yellow were affixing masks. One dropped a large gas bomb as the rooster put on his own mask.

Dr. Powers made one last attempt at denying them their prize, and ran for the door to the elevator. Breathing hard as he ran, the gas overcame him before he even made it to the door of the room. Still barely conscious, he looked up as the rooster pried the stone out of his hands. "You've made FOWL High Command very happy, pal," he said, and stepped over him on his way out of the building. Dr. Powers slipped into unconsciousness with a devastated sigh.


	2. Act I

Something In the Air

* * *

Act I

It's common practice for waiting rooms to have pictures in them to put the occupants at ease. They're usually pretty landscapes or still life photos or something with blurry objects in the foreground and teeny objects in the background, a failed attempt at perspective staring you in the face for an hour or so. This particular waiting room, that of a Mr. Dorian Fowler, was adorned with paintings of children. This would have been perfectly nice if only those children hadn't had eyes that were just obscenely huge. The receptionist said that they were supposed to put the people waiting at ease, but the feeling one tended to get from noticing that each eyeball was easily the size of the child's bill was nothing if not uneasy. In fact they reminded Beth Webfoot of wild owls, which in the end just added to her nervousness because she'd feared those creatures ever since she was a small child. As a result, the bouncing feeling in her stomach of anticipation mixed with dread was growing by leaps and bounds.

She tried unsuccessfully to keep her eyes from examining the pictures on the walls. No luck; that tactic tended to just remind her that they were there, and were possibly watching her while she was letting her guard down. Was it possible that Mr. Fowler could use these pictures to examine the people in the waiting area? Maybe this was part of the evaluation, sitting here and pretending not to be nervous, and if you cracked, you were weeded out. She knew it was ludicrous but the idea simply would not leave her mind.

As if she wasn't already on edge! This was her first in-person performance evaluation with Fowler-Mergatroid Multimedia Inc., and the very idea of being evaluated had her biting her nails. If they didn't like her work so far, she could be fired- and in front of the rest of the company! This sort of thing had never been Beth's cup of tea. It was at times like this that she wished she had stayed as a full-time employee of Bindler's Hardware store, no matter how low-paying and demeaning that job was.

To take her mind off of her anxieties, she let her attention settle on what was apparently a coworker: a woman sitting a few chairs away from her in the waiting room, carefully pencilling in a small notepad she held. The woman's age was difficult to determine, but she looked somewhat older than Beth. Her hair, a shade of darkish blonde, was far too curly for the unruly bun it was tucked into. It created a disheveled appearance which was only furthured by the ill-fitting shirt and skirt which the woman had draped herself in. The large, thick-framed glasses completed the look of either a haggard librarian or a flustered secretary which this woman seemed to be cultivating. Beth felt an immediate kinship, and considered striking up a conversation. After a few moments of indecision, she decided, _Why not?_

Nervously twiddling her thumbs, she spoke up. "Well, I wonder how many people are supposed to be here?" The woman looked up briefly and shot Beth a glance, then retreated back to her notepad. "Um, this is the waiting room for the performance evaluations, right? I'd hate to be in the wrong place, after all."

The woman looked up again. "Yes. Performance evaluations for the Fowler-Mergatroid CD-Rom project. At 3 o'clock."

Beth nodded. "Well, that's where I'm supposed to be. Thanks. That puts me at ease." She moved a few seats down and took a place in the chair next to the silent woman. "I'm Beth Webfoot, by the way."

After a pause, the woman nodded. "Skitting. Tonya. Hi." She fidgeted a bit, nervously, and began to write more in her notepad.

Anxious to keep a conversation going, Beth interjected with a new comment. "Uh, so how long have you been with the company?"

Tonya lifted the pencil point from her paper and sighed. "Six years," she answered, her voice carrying a sort of resignation.

Beth, perceiving that Tonya was in fact quite nervous, decided to do her best to quell her colleague's unease. "Oh, really? So you've done this before! See, I've only been here a few months, and I didn't even know they called you in for a group progress report when I first started working here, and then out of the blue they call and say I have to come in for this meeting thing! So I've been going just absolutely crazy, trying to find the right things to wear and hoping I know what to say, and things like that! I guess what I'm wearing is fine, since you seem to be pretty casual." As her comment was made, however, Tonya flushed, and Beth realized that she may well have been insulting yet again. "Oh, um, not to say that you don't look nice, of course. Just, I assumed- well, we're not supposed to look entirely formal, are we?"

Tonya had, by this point, sunk into herself somewhat and her shoulders were now somewhere up near her cheeks. "No," she said sullenly.

"Ah- well, in any case, like I said- I haven't done this before, and..." Flustered, Beth groped desperately for a change of subject, and decided to make use of Tonya's relative position of authority. "Er, so, in any case, you probably know exactly what you're in for. Gee, me, I've spent all my time so far basically working in classification, you know? Sticking things into categories, plants mostly, like some giant encyclopedia. But you, you're probably-"

"That's what I do, too," Tonya said. After an appropriate period of silence, she added, "For six years." She waited just long enough for the silence to become awkward before sighing, "But I should be up for a promotion now. A position just opened up. I'm looking forward to this meeting."

Beth let out a breath of air she hadn't realized she'd been holding. After an incredible case of sticking her foot in her mouth, at least there was an upside here. Still, she was too nervous to go back to the previous topic, and fell into silence for a while. Tonya made no efforts to maintain the conversation, but instead took the opportunity to go back to her notes. Beth peered over her shoulder. "What'cha doing there?"

Tonya jumped, startled, and drew away from her persistant neighbour. "Nothing!"

"Formulas?" Beth thought over what she had managed to see, and then gasped happily. "Ooooh! Chemistry!"

"Alchemy," Tonya said authoratatively. "It's a bit of a hobby, actually-"

"Chemistry is the same thing as alchemy, really," Beth interrupted. Continuing blithely on, she said, "That reminds me, did you see the special report on A Modern Affair about that 'magical element', the one that's supposed to be able to change things around? The 'Philosophers' Stone'?"

"The Philosopher's Stone?! They've found it??" Tonya's manner suddenly did a complete one-eighty. This time Beth was the one who jumped back as Tonya leaned forward exuberantly. "I always knew it existed! Who has it? I've spent years studying it, but I never knew they were close to discovering it! Imagine, finding the substance so pure that it can elevate the properties of other metals, changing them into gold!"

"They should have called it the Midas Stone," Beth said with a giggle. Then, more thoughtfully, "Couldn't it hypothetically change them into other metals, too?"

Tonya was brought up short. "What?"

Beth shrugged. "Well, I mean, I don't know a whole lot about it but it seems rather silly to me that gold would be the one element that the stone fixates on. What's so special about gold, when you think about it? It's not magical or anything. And even if it were, I don't see why the same properties couldn't be used to a lesser effect, elevating the original elements to levels slightly 'lower' than gold. Silver, lead, and oooh, maybe even mercury! ...But it's silly for me to even postulate on this."

Scribbling furiously in a new page of her notepad, Tonya didn't answer for a few moments. She underlined the phrase "other metals" and looked back up. "Not so silly, actually. Alchemy is a fascinating subject, I've found, and-"

"Oh, no, I love chemistry!" Tonya grimaced at Beth's continued use of a word she evidently did not care for. "It's just that I don't believe in the Philosophers' Stone. I mean, really, A Modern Affair is hardly the most reliable source of information. And even _that_ report said that belief in the stone was dropped centuries ago. It's a completely outdated notion. The very point that I made, about it transforming metals exclusively into gold- that right there is silly enough to blow holes in the entire theory. It's completely-"

"And how would you know, anyway?!" Tonya bit off any further comments and glared at Beth for a moment longer, then turned away.

"W-wait- I didn't mean to insult you, I was only..." She trailed off as Tonya waved a hand in her face. As Beth tried to figure out what obscure meaning this gesture might possibly have, the door to the hall opened up and three men in suits entered, laughing between themselves.

"Oh, look! People are already here! We're not late, are we?" asked one.

Beth shook her head nervously. "Uh, I don't think so..."

The second businessman addressed Tonya. "Oh, hi, Skitting. Who's the new girl?" Tonya snorted in response, ignoring him otherwise.

Beth waved. "I'm Beth Webfoot." Grasping her hands in front of her, she twisted them together slightly as introductions were made. These men seemed friendlier than Tonya had, but in some ways that made her even more nervous.

"Is Dorian in his office?" wondered the first of her colleagues. Beth shrugged, and Tonya continued to ignore them all, so he walked up and knocked on the door. After a muffled "C'mon in!", the coworker opened the door and his friends filed inside. He beckoned to Beth, so she nervously stood up and followed the others.

Outside on her own, Tonya sullenly gathered up her notepad and large canvas bag, and made her way into the meeting room as well.

* * *

About an hour later, the building's doors opened and a stream of people flooded out onto the street, chatting amongst themselves. Tonya was among the last to leave, but was followed by one more- one whom she couldn't shake off, no matter how hard she tried.

"I can't believe I got the promotion!!" Beth said, for something like the fifth time since the meeting was adjourned. Tonya sped up her pace and tried to step in front of Beth, but the nuisance actually grabbed her by the arm in an effort to catch up. "I just ... I really wasn't expecting it! Nothing like that has ever happened to me before!"

"So you said," Tonya replied. Somehow, Beth seemed to be totally failing to notice that Tonya simply detested her.

Beth let go of Tonya's arm, but kept pace with her as they walked to the curb. "I know, but it was just so weird! I was sitting there, minding my own business and all, and I was so afraid that he was going to single me out for being bad or something! But in a way, this was almost worse- I mean, I don't want to look like a teacher's pet or anything. I used to get that a lot in school. You don't think anyone will hold this against me, do you?" Tonya grumbled to herself and didn't bother to answer, turning her attention instead to hailing a cab. Beth yammered on. "By the way, was this the promotion you were wanting? I'm sorry if it was. I really had no idea. I honestly thought you were going to get it!! You should have, I think. You deserve it more than I do. But I'm sure you'll get the next one! Isn't it funny how things like this work out?" Tonya spent a brief moment seriously considering pushing her into the street.

Suddenly Beth gasped, and the way this noise coincided with her imagined act of violence made Tonya jump. "Oh my _gosh_, I forgot my purse in the building! I'll be right back!" Beth said, as if Tonya cared. Tonya breathed a heavy sigh of relief as her rival ran back to the building, and spent a renewed half-minute attempting desperately to hail a cab. None stopped for her.

Tension building steadily, Tonya ground her teeth together until they were significantly duller. The best remedy to this was to get home to her lab and just immerse herself in her work for a few hours.

An unmistakably evil thought occured to her suddenly. The experiment whose formula she'd been puzzling over prior to the meeting was in progress, so she had the liquid prototype with her. The mixture was intended to work as a sort of liquid hypnosis, which would clear the mind of whoever was exposed to it and leave them highly open to suggestion. In other words, it was a mind control potion. It was still in the highly experimental stages, but if she could use it now...

She watched Dorian Fowler walk right by her, unaware of the malice she had directed towards him. He certainly deserved whatever he got, the ingrate. She hadn't been prepared for the complaints and the humiliation of this meeting; the memory alone still smarted. She'd been accused of not getting her work in on time, of going over her allotted budget... never mind the fact that, if she had been promoted and given the high raise she deserved, she wouldn't have to use the company's budget to fund her own private research.

Defiantly she reached into her purse, not caring about whatever ill effects the untested formula might have. She pulled out the vial with the foggy liquid, took a deep breath, and yanked the stopper out before she had time to change her mind.

But as she took her first step towards Fowler, someone dashed clumsily in front of her, knocking her arm. The vial fell from her fingers, mixing with the dark amber liquid which was gushing from the open can of Koo-Koo Cola which the figure had dropped. This new mixture splashed all over the front of the thing that was directly in front of it, soaking it completely.

The thing, of course, was Beth Webfoot.

Beth gasped, putting her hand to her mouth. "Oh Tonya, I'm so sorry! How much did this perfume cost? It can't have been too much, right?" she asked, and without waiting for an answer, dug into her purse and produced a $20 bill. "If there's any change you can give it back to me later, or not, whichever," she said quickly, taking a moment to raise her arm and hail a cab. One pulled over for her immediately. "Wow, I've never even done that before! This must be my lucky day." She giggled. "Want to share? If you're going my way I can cover it."

"No!" said Tonya, taking a step back, the twenty-dollar bill clenched in her fist. That potion was the result of months of research and scientific effort, and now Webfoot was wearing it as bad perfume! It stank even from where Tonya was standing. On the other hand, a test was still a test, even if it wasn't on the ideal subject. She grabbed Beth by both arms and stared into her eyes. "You will do whatever I say," she said, haltingly and without much conviction. Her hopes faded the rest of the way when Beth only gave her a puzzled, slightly frightened look.

"I, um, I'd like to... But actually I have to get home now." She managed a weak grin. "Look, it was great meeting you- I'm so sorry about the perfume!! We should try and get together sometime, okay? I've got to go! Oh, are you going to the company banquet that Mr. Fowler mentioned?

Tonya was amazed. For her, the words "I've got to go" meant the conversation had ended, but Beth Webfoot seemed to have no such definition for her usage of the phrase. She shook her head impatiently.

With a shrug, Beth retreated into the cab. She leaned in and addressed the driver, an attractive feline woman. "Um, I guess I need to go to Avian Way- do you need directions? If it's too hard you can drop me off at-"

The driver cut her off. "I can get there," she said in an accented voice. Beth nodded, and leaned back out the door. Tonya was walking away, so Beth called to her. "Tonya! I'll call you!" She waved, puzzled by the fact that Tonya had evidently not heard her. Oh, well. She pulled the door shut and the cab pulled away from the curb.


	3. Act II

**Something In the Air**

* * *

Act II

After paying the driver her allotted fare plus a generous tip, Beth left the cab and then grabbed the edge of her stained shirt and sniffed it unselfconsciously. Making a face, she muttered, "So it was me." The reek which she had hoped was just the cab was, in fact, coming in waves from her shirt. It smelled like- well, like a combination of very cheap perfume and Koo-Koo Cola, with, yes, a hint of catnip and clove smoke buried well within the boundaries. She pulled the fabric away from her face and took deep breaths of air, thinking of clean laundry.

But, her light-headed mood- which admittedly may have been caused by the overpowering fumes on her shirt- reminded her of the day's events. Good news just didn't wait! Surely nothing terrible would happen if she took an extra five minutes to share the news of her promotion with Drake and the others? She took off back down her sidewalk and darted up the walk of the Mallard house.

Drake answered the door relatively quickly, and from the look of frustration on his face he'd been playing WiffleBoy again. Spotting Beth, whose face was sporting a broad grin of barely-supressed joy, he blinked. Then he sniffed, and made a face. Half-blocking her passage into the house, he said, "Laying the perfume on a little thick, aren't we?"

Blushing, Beth answered, "Something spilled on me on my way back from my meeting. But speaking of the meeting, do you want to know how it went?" She waited for approximately four tenths of a second before continuing, "I have never had a better day in my life! Well, professionally speaking, that is. Because technically I've probably had better days emotionally, or you know, in terms of events that have suddenly been introduced into my life, but speaking for my job, this is really really-"

"Beth," Drake interrupted her, his face still frozen in his "ew-what-is-that-smell" expression, "can this wait until I've beaten the hedgehogs in level four?"

Beth considered. "I... _guess_ so." He moved to let her in, and she followed and shut the door behind her. "Where are Launchpad and Gos?"

"Soccer game," said Drake. Having vaulted the side of the couch to get back to his game, he was now thoroughly engrossed. Beth took a seat on the edge of the couch and waited patiently for his game to be over. Unfortunately her patience only lasted for a matter of seconds.

In an explosion of excitement, she suddenly spat out, "Oh Drake I just _have_ to tell you, I can't wait any longer!" and her correspondingly enthusiastic hand gesture knocked the video game controller from Drake's grasp. He fumbled, dropped it, grabbed the cord, and hauled it back to his hands.

Whereupon the digitized voice rewarded his efforts with a decidedly unsympathetic, "Aw. Wiffle got walloped. You lose." Drake wilted, his hands ready to catch his face from hitting the floor.

Beth cleared her throat, shifted uncomfortably, and finally murmured, "Oops."

Drake inhaled deeply, which was usually a sign that he was doing his best to keep his irritation under control. Then he faced Beth with a rerun of his earlier grossed-out face. "What is _making_ that smell, anyway?!" he asked.

"Um, I don't know," she shrugged. "It just sort of spilled onto me. And the cab driver who brought me home was smoking some weird cigarettes. Catnip or something."

"It smells like sardines," Drake announced as he stood up and headed for the kitchen.

She decided to ignore this; after all, it wasn't her fault. Anxious to share her news nonetheless, she called after him. "So guess what? I got a promotion!"

She was dismayed when Drake showed little enthusiasm as he returned to the couch with a drink in his hand. "To what from what?"

Blinking, she realized that he knew next to nothing about her job. Well, she rarely spoke about it. He sniffed again, and she felt uncomfortable, so talked around it. "Well, I was working in basic categorization for this CD-Rom project, but I've been promoted to elemental research! Not exactly my pure forté, but I know the area well enough-" She paused, as Drake was leaning closer to her and sniffing near her head. She tried to ignore it. "Uh, I know it well enough... so it should be fine."

"That's fantastic," Drake said vaguely, an odd look in his eyes. Beth wasn't sure what to make of it. He didn't seem to know what to make of it, either, and suddenly stood up and walked across the room from her. "So you're, uh, promoted?"

"Uh..." Beth wasn't sure what to say to this. "Uh, yeah."

Nodding, Drake started circling the couch slowly. Beth didn't have much time to get nervous before he approached her and peered at her closely, then sniffed again. The camel's back broke. Red-faced, Beth said, "I'm sorry about the smell, I didn't think it'd be that bad. It's really not my fault, okay? I'll go home-"

"No, don't!" Drake said, his voice sounding urgent. He grabbed her hand and held it. "Don't go. I like the perfume."

Beth blinked.

"No, really. It suits you."

She blinked again, her expression this time one of overt displeasure. "Sardines suit me?" she managed, dryly.

Drake looked surprised. "Did I say that? Why would I say sardines? It smells like..." he sniffed the air again, as if to confirm his choice of words. "Like lilac and honeysuckle. Just like you. Beth."

As he sat down on the couch next to her, Beth's heart rate tripled. That look in his eyes was vaguely familiar, though she was fairly sure she'd never seen Drake look that way- not at her, in any case! ...At Morgana, maybe... Oh, goodness, it couldn't be- could it? "Drake, um, you really think so? Lilac?"

Still holding her hand, Drake looked deeply into her eyes. "Whatever is delicate and treasured, that's you." Beth would have swooned if she'd had the presence of mind. Instead she blinked. Drake held her hand more tightly, but she barely felt the pressure. "Beth... I can't imagine how I've been so blind all this time..."

In later years, Beth began to think that the lives of herself and her friends were cursed to be interrupted at the most inopportune times. This was certainly not the first time it happened, and just a few hours later she found out that it was not to be the last, but that's another tale. In any case, this most inopportune of times to be interrupted was, ironically, interrupted when the door swung open and Launchpad walked in. He was followed shortly by Gosalyn, Honker, and everyone's favourite resident thug, Tank.

"Hey Dad! We won!" Gosalyn announced on entry. "Ice cream sodas all around, right?" She stopped a few paces into the house, however, and gave Honker and Launchpad an odd look as she took in the sight of her father clasping hands with a deeply-blushing Beth Webfoot. The look, which clearly said, "Something here is just not right," was echoed by both of its recipients. Her facial expression changed again a short moment later as she sniffed the air in the house.

Beth gently tried to pull her hands from Drake's tender grasp, only to find that he wasn't willing to let her go. Launchpad's face was now beginning to get what looked to be a slight variation on the usual expression in response to the smell, and Tank was sniffing the air. Perhaps she should explain. "Uh-" she began gracefully, and went downhill from there.

Drake came to her rescue, in a sense. Still looking into her eyes, he announced to the rest of the room, "Beth got a promotion."

"She did?" Launchpad asked immediately.

"I did?" Beth echoed. "I mean- yes! I did! I kind of... forgot, just now."

Gosalyn chimed in. "What exactly do you _do_, anyway, Beth? You never talk about your job!"

"Well-"

Evidently becoming more adept at speaking up, Honker said, "She's a researcher on a CD-Rom project about plants. Um, well, at least that's what she was doing a few months ago." He shrank back and adjusted his glasses, shyly.

"Wow," said Gosalyn. "I didn't think _anyone_ remembered what she did!"

"Too bad you're not as smart as Beth, Honk," Tank muttered to his brother.

Launchpad grinned at her and gave her a thumbs-up. "Way to go! Hey, you'll be runnin' the company in a year!"

A little nervous under the scrutiny of this many people, Beth nodded uncertainly. "Yeah. I mean, uh, thanks. Gee, it's nothing much, just a bit more of a workload and a small pay increase..."

"Then you can afford to buy better perfume!" Gosalyn said, leaning close to Beth and sniffing. She recoiled. "Boy, Beth, whatever you paid for that stuff was too much! It smells like... like..."

"Sardines?" Beth supplied, downcast.

"I was gonna say gym socks, but they're about the same I guess."

Launchpad shrugged. "I dunno... I like it!" He didn't notice the incredulous look Gosalyn shot him. "Smells kinda like flowers to me."

That was just what Drake had said. As if to prove it, Drake repeated it. "Lilacs, don't you think, LP?" He slid his arm around Beth's shoulders casually, as if he'd been doing it for years now. Beth lost all feeling in her arms and fell into him, her expression blissful.

"Uh... yeah," said Launchpad, now a little puzzled. "Or daisies." Tank, standing back near the doorway and being uncharacteristically nondestructive, mumbled something about posies.

Gosalyn gave them all looks as though they were crazy. "I don't know where you guys are getting all this. It smells like funky socks to me, and I oughta know what funky socks smell like!"

Beth thought that was a pretty gross thing to say, but didn't mention it. Instead she was distracted by a smallish object in the corner that appeared to be floating. She blinked; with those colours and shapes, it looked like a little miniature version of the ThunderQuack. She couldn't stifle a laugh.

Turning to face her, Drake asked, "What's so funny?"

She pointed. "That's just so cute! Is that a toy ThunderQuack?"

"The FlashQuack!" he gasped in a panic-stricken voice. To her surprise, Drake bounded up out of his seat and barreled towards the flying mini-plane, leaving her unbalanced enough to fall over onto the rest of the couch. After she'd picked herself up from the cushions she saw him grappling with the thing, which was evidently no toy. As Tank turned to look at what was causing the disturbance, Gosalyn pushed him towards the door.

"Sorry you have to go so soon, Tank," she said, obviously putting a real effort into her actions.

Tank, who looked slightly lost, was straining against Gosalyn as she pushed. "I don't! Knock it off, willya?" He looked back at Beth, almost imploringly.

By this time, Gosalyn had the door open and was working on shutting him out of it. "Yes, you do! Your parents called!"

"But the phone didn't..."

He didn't get to finish the thought, since Gosalyn gave one final shove and was able to shut and latch the door before Tank fully knew what hit him. She leaned against the door, breathing heavily, as Drake released the FlashQuack from under his sweater.

"'Bout time," he muttered crossly as he took out the message from SHUSH and read it over. Looking up at everyone else, he reported, "Standard. FOWL intercepted a delivery to SHUSH labs, and they need us to get it back... some kind of fancy rock. Just your usual day-in, day-out spy work... We find FOWL's hideout and get back the rock, like we always do. Sounds like a snap." He crumpled up the message and tucked it back inside the FlashQuack. "Since time is of the essence, I won't need briefing. We can just go."

"It doesn't seem like Agent Grizlikoff, to let you go without briefing," Launchpad mused.

Colouring, Drake said, "Well, he didn't actually _say_ I didn't need briefing. But, come on here. It's a _rock_. If FOWL stole it, obviously it's going to be some kind of jewel or something; how hard can it be to find? We'll be in and out before FOWL knows what plucked 'em. In fact, this mission is easy enough that I can afford to bring a guest along," he said slyly.

Gosalyn ran up to her father. "Really? I can go?"

Putting a hand on her head, Drake smiled at her apologetically. "Sorry, Gos, but you're still not old enough to come along on these capers. Besides, this one might be a little too boring for you."

"You're not trying reverse psychology on me again, are you?" Gosalyn asked him suspiciously.

He effortlessly ignored her. "Beth? I'd be honoured..."

Beth's eyes went wide at the invitation. "M-me?? Well, I- I really should, you know, shower first... Just to get this smell off of me..." She knew he wouldn't wait, and was starting to think maybe the smell wasn't so bad.

Drake gave her a fond smile. "Keep the perfume on. I like it," he said, raising one eyebrow in a manner that made all her doubts jump out the window in a sudden mad, joyous belief that they could fly. She took his offered hand and he led her to the transport chairs. "C'mon, LP," he said faintly, over his shoulder.

Launchpad gave Gosalyn a look that said, _Are you seein' the same things I am?_ Her look answered, _Yes, and they're going to give me nightmares._ Launchpad just shook his head, wondering what the heck was going on.

* * *

Beth could not remember ever having been so aware of Darkwing's clue-following abilities. It was as if he were overemphasizing everything he did so that she'd notice. Was he trying to... impress her? But she didn't matter- or at least, she'd never mattered before! She spent little time trying to divine the reasons behind Darkwing's sudden influx of affection towards her, choosing instead to just revel thoughtlessly in it. Sure, maybe she'd regret it when it ended, but for the moment she was happy and that was all that mattered. 

Launchpad, she failed to notice, was _not_ happy. Darkwing was acting really, really weird, and for no reason Launchpad could figure out. He was normal enough until he thought about Beth; problem was, he seemed to be thinking of her all the time. Whether he was reaching out to hold hands with her in the tower or putting an extra-special flair into his deduction of FOWL's hideout, it was really obvious. Launchpad was actually surprised that Beth had been instructed to ride in the Ratcatcher's sidecar with him, instead of up on the cycle with Darkwing.

"Um, Darkwing...?" Beth spoke up suddenly. Darkwing and Launchpad both immediately gave her their full attention. A little nervous under their mutual scrutiny, she faltered. "Ah- I was, um, thinking..."

"You do that well," Darkwing said, smiling.

Beth blushed, while behind her, Launchpad rolled his eyes. "No, but seriously, um, this is a spy organization you're tracking down, isn't it? With henchmen and guns and weird machines?"

"Well, yeah, but I know you can be trusted," Darkwing said, missing her point.

She acknowledged the implied compliment, as she always did. "Oh- thank you. But what I was going to say was, well, um, isn't this a little bit dangerous? Just a bit...? I've been thinking about this, and it's not that I don't have faith in your ability to protect me, but..."

Launchpad added his agreement. "She's got a good point, DW," he said sincerely. "Beth doesn't have any experience on your cases, and you won't even let Gos come along on cases like these."

"I'd just be in the way," Beth said, nodding.

"No, it's not that," Launchpad began.

Darkwing sighed. "I'd love to have you along, Beth- I really need to talk to you right now. But you're right. I acted without thinking." Launchpad was surprised- he'd expected Darkwing to argue, what with the way he'd been acting around Beth. He'd practically been fawning over her, which wasn't like him at all! "I'll take you home," he went on.

"Oh- no," she objected. "No no no- you're on a case and you need to find the bad guys. I can walk home. It's broad daylight," she added, before Darkwing could protest, "it's not like I'm going to get mugged in the middle of the afternoon. I walk all the time. I have legs."

Smiling sheepishly, Darkwing pulled over and let her out. As she stood up from the sidecar, he took her hand and squeezed it. "Be careful," he said quietly.

"I should say the same thing to you," she answered.

Launchpad, who was trapped in the middle of their just-short-of-fond goodbye, looked from one of his friends to the other. Their expressions were identical; neither one seemed to remember he was there. He really wasn't enjoying this. It was bad enough when Darkwing was acting all funny over Morgana, or any other woman for that matter. That was just enough to bug him 'cause Darkwing started forgetting about his cases. But this woman was Beth! His Beth! Their mutual affection was more than even his cheerful obliviousness could stand.

By the time they finally let go of each other's hands, and Darkwing pulled away from the curb, Launchpad was well into an uncharacteristic sulk. And Darkwing, being Darkwing- in particular, being Darkwing in love- didn't notice.

* * *

Beth watched him pull away, and was left to her own thoughts for the first time since this new development had occured. She wanted to spin, to cry out with joy, to shout to the world how wonderful it was to be in love! But even through her euphoria, there was a nagging thought at the back of her mind that wouldn't go away. _Isn't this awfully sudden?_ the thought whispered. _Yesterday he barely paid you any attention, now he's not taking his eyes off you!_ She knew, fearfully, that she might be misinterpreting the situation; that his new interest in her could have some other, horribly unromantic explanation. She told herself she was just being paranoid, but the feeling wouldn't go away. What to do? 

Now she wished she hadn't decided to leave. Although, she reminded herself, it was doubtful they'd have gotten much talking done with Launchpad there. She shook her head; she'd wait this out before she decided anything too rash. Love was blind, so they said, but none of the thousands of books or movies she'd ever studied on the subject spoke of a sudden, out of the blue adoration this way.

She considered all of this on her way home, only barely noticing the people she passed on the sidewalks. She failed to notice the men sniffing the air as she passed, then turning to watch her walk along, intrigued by her very movements. Sighs of devotion floated in her wake, which she also didn't hear, and in fact it wasn't until a particularly brave gentleman jumped in front of her and quite passionately proposed marriage that she even truly remembered that other people were there.

Fighting down her sudden terror, she turned the would-be fiancé down, then excused herself politely and ducked into an alleyway. That was alarming- she'd forgotten the horror stories she'd read of crazy people who fixated on normal citizens like herself. Well, she'd never forget again. Hearing a commotion out on the sidewalk she'd escaped from, she gulped and backed further into the alleyway. It sounded as if her "suitor" were loudly defending his claim on her. She was too afraid to leave the relative safety of the alleyway until it settled down, for fear that she might be attacked as soon as she emerged. Instead, she flattened against a wall and hid.

As she crept further down the alley, she neared a window in the base of the building she was standing against. The window led to what was once the laundry room in the basement of this now-empty building.

Except that the building wasn't empty anymore. New occupants had just moved in a couple of nights ago, although their presence was hardly what could be called legal, and their activities were limited mostly to the building's basement. The window which Beth was now standing in front of was one of several that was used as a look-out.

As it turned out, the look-out window was in use at the moment. The occupants were first aware of a pair of feet suddenly stepping in front of their breeze, and subsequently blocking their view.

The three Eggmen who were standing guard were momentarily stymied. "She's blocking our view," one stated.

A second nodded, and reached for his gun. "Should we kill her?"

The third shook his head. "Nah. She's not doin' anything. Give her a minute or so more and if she don't leave, then we should do somethin'."

After that, they tried to ignore her, although looking around her legs was not an easy task. It soon grew even more difficult, as the smell that assailed them began to get the better of them.

"You guys smell that?" the first of the three asked.

His companions nodded. The largest, his bill wrinkling in disgust, said, "Smells like rotten eggs."

"You think so?" asked the third. "Smells more like..." He sniffed again, and then sighed. "Honeysuckles."

"Roses," argued the first, dreamily.

The bigger one sniffed again, and then his expression changed to a goofy grin. "Chocolate," he said, his voice filled with adoration.

The three pressed as close against the window as they could, each trying their best to get a good look at the mystical creature who was enchanting them so. A slender brunette, looking fearfully around the alleyway, her fragrance floating around her and escaping no one. She was waiting to be found, to be possessed.

They stepped back from the window, each hesitant to admit their sudden weakness to the other. Finally the third one spoke up: "Uh, she's not leaving, so... Sh-she's trespassing."

"You're right!!" the second said instantly. "We'd better get her and take her prisoner!"

"Yeah!!" said the third enthusiastically.

* * *

The commotion seemed to have settled down a little; Beth listened carefully and didn't hear anything. She edged her way to the corner of the alleyway and risked a look. 

No one was in sight.

She let out a breath of air in relief, and decided to leave. She threw a glance over her shoulder, but was already starting to leave the alley before the image she saw fully registered. By that time, one of the three menacing figures in yellow uniforms had already grabbed her arms and pulled her back. Another clamped her bill shut before she could scream. Fearfully, she looked at the third of her attackers, who smiled shyly back at her and waved a little.

With that, she was picked up and carried to the end of the alleyway, where the kidnapper with his hands free pressed a button and waited. The wait wasn't long, as the wall in front of them suddenly slid open exactly the way a hidden door would- which was very appropriate, Beth realized, because it obviously _was_ a hidden door.

If she had been able to do so, she would have asked exactly who they were, why they were wearing what looked like egg-helmets on top of their heads, and just what it was she had done to make them kidnap her, because as it stood right now it seemed she was wearing some big neon sign that flashed "KIDNAP ME" at various intervals, and frankly she was getting quite tired of it and just wanted to go home, eat some cookie dough ice cream, and maybe watch an old romantic movie or two until Drake got home. Unfortunately the only thing she could manage to get past the kidnapper's hand was "mmph", and while she could say it in many different ways, the meaning just wasn't very clear at any time.

The door slid shut behind them, leaving no trace of anyone ever having been in the alleyway.


	4. Act III

**Something In the Air**

* * *

Act III

Steelbeak was a man who enjoyed his work. Even if he was "just" an agent, he was almost at the top of the FOWL ladder; no one got results like him. The fact that he rarely effectively maintained those results was counterbalanced by the fact that they were still the best results FOWL got. His name was known and feared; he had power, clout, and lovely ladies. People bent to his every whim. One of these days he knew he'd ascend to the top brass in FOWL High Command, and then- hoo boy, the world better look out!

He continued to enjoy his work as the manicure he'd been getting switched to the other hand. "Gently there, Natasha, we don't want any ragged corners," he advised the sweet young thing who was tending to his hands. Boy, ever since FOWL started using female Eggmen, his life had just gotten better and better. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes as Electra, standing behind him, massaged his temples.

Footsteps entered the room. He decided not to look up, and spoke without even opening his eyes. "What."

One of his Eggmen replied, "Look who we found snoopin' around outside!"

Hey, there was only one person who was important enough to be brought in to Steelbeak personally: Darkwing Duck, the world's most annoying living target. He grinned in triumph, and stood, savouring the moment. "Well, well, well," he said, not yet looking in their direction. This was going to be so sweet. "I knew, in time, you'd slip up. And I always knew we'd be the ones to catch you in the end. I've waited a long time for this, and I can promise you that your death will be long, painful, and definitely a lot of fun. For me, anyway." Pacing back and forth, he gave a staccato laugh and waited for Darkwing's usual good-versus-evil baloney. Hearing nothing, he asked mockingly, "No quick comebacks this time? Awww, I'm gonna miss 'em after you're pushin' up daisies! But it doesn't really matter, 'cause the end outcome is the same." Here was the climax. He raised his voice. "You've breathed your last, Darkwing Duck!" he cried, taking a dramatic step back and pointing at the prisoner his Eggmen held securely, who, as it turned out, could have been Darkwing Duck if and only if Darkwing was a woman with long brown hair, glasses, and absolutely no sign of anything "heroic" whatsoever.

Steelbeak cursed, stomping his foot in frustration. "Well, why didn't ya _tell_ me it wasn't him?!" he demanded of his Eggmen. They looked at each other and shrugged. Infuriated, Steelbeak again looked over the woman they'd brought in to him. She looked pretty scared; guess he couldn't blame her for that. He grew annoyed again as he thought about that great speech, wasted. Well, whoever this chick was, she wouldn't be around for long. "Eh, I guess what I said still stands. 'Cept it doesn't have to be long and painful." He sniffed lightly; had something crawled in here and died?

The woman paled. "Oh, please don't kill me! I wasn't snooping, honest I wasn't, I was just hiding from somebody and I was even about to leave! I didn't see anything until these big men brought me in here, and I won't say anything to anyone!! Please, don't-"

He cut her off. "Look, kiddo, nothin' personal. Maybe you weren't lookin' around, but you've been here now an' there's nothin' I can do about it. Bon voyage!" He waved to her, hoping that the Eggmen would pick up on his signal to get her out of the room and dispose of her. She shouldn't even have been brought in here in the first place, especially since chances were she was right and she hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary. He almost felt sorry for her. But for some reason, the Eggmen weren't picking up on his cues at all and instead were looking at each other worriedly. They seemed hesitant to dispose of the lady.

He began to consider letting her live. Maybe as a hostage or something. "Say, kid, what's yer name?" he asked, examining her again. She was kind of pretty, in a plain way.

"Beth W-" she began, and cut herself off. Too many villains knew her name by this time already. And she was pretty sure that this was Steelbeak, the FOWL agent Drake had mentioned on the way over. She'd never seen him, but how many bad guys with evil henchmen had beaks made out of metal? There was no way she wanted an entire evil spy organization to come and look her up any time soon. "Just Beth."

Steelbeak nodded slowly, and took a deep breath of air. Something smelled nice... He realized, slowly, that it was her. This Beth kid. Something deep within him melted at the sight of those big blue eyes, pleading with him for her life... He recoiled. She was not his type, that was for sure! Then again, maybe the type he'd always avoided was the one type to make him happy forever? "Beth," he said, quietly.

"Please let me go," she whimpered, pathetically.

The girls who had been doting on Steelbeak all gave little derisive snorts. Electra giggled mockingly. Steelbeak found himself getting angry. "All right, you're dismissed!" he snapped at them, waving them away. "Get outta here! Boys, tie 'er up!"

The Eggmen looked as surprised as they could beneath their helmets, then nodded and nearly ran each other over trying to procure rope and tie Beth up against a wall.

Beth herself looked quite stunned. "But I thought-"

"Nah," Steelbeak shook his head. "Actually, you might be worth something to- to FOWL." He caught himself before he blurted out his own interest. "Ransom or somethin'," he mumbled, trailing off.

Too surprised to fight as the Eggmen tied her arms to the metal pipes adorning the walls of the basement, Beth simply blinked. They were being much gentler than she'd expect a terrorist spy organization to be. And Steelbeak was acting almost the same way Drake had been earlier! This just must be her day or something. She should have checked her horoscope that morning.

Steelbeak had moved back to his chair, and was standing facing away from her. She cleared her throat. "Um... excuse me, but, where am I?" Not much chance he'd answer that, but then again, Beth seemed to remember Darkwing saying that villains liked to explain everything.

He turned back to her, and gave her a surprisingly warm smile. "You probably guessed," he said. "We're with FOWL, and we're in the process of takin' over the world." He laughed, the same strange staccato laugh she'd heard him make before. "Ya like the hideout? I expect better than just a dingy basement, so we made a few modifications here an' there. There's a sauna in the back." He winked. "An' this little baby," he continued, picking up a bizarre-looking gemstone, "is the key to our success!"

It was no stone Beth recognized, that was for certain. Amber in colour, it was cut much like a multi-facetted diamond. And it glowed, evidently under its own power, so it appeared to be radioactive. Did Steelbeak realize that? It didn't seem that he did, as he was holding it in his bare hand with no protection evident. But, the radioactivity was doubtless part of their plan. No matter what it was, it was obviously what Darkwing had been sent to retrieve. If only he were here... But he could be anywhere by now!

Steelbeak tossed the stone into the air and caught it again, then set it down. "'Course, I got no idea how it works. But heck, if High Command asked for it, they get to play with it!" Again the laugh. He was so caught up in her- in fact, they all were- that they forgot their order to keep an eye out for SHUSH and Darkwing Duck.

This forgetfulness would prove costly.

_"I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!"_ boomed the familiar introduction. Steelbeak gave a rather incoherent yell of frustration just as Beth silently thanked whatever forces were looking out for her.

"You can't have her!" Steelbeak cried, looking about for the source of his ire.

When the requisite puff of smoke appeared in the middle of the room, he pointed emphatically and ordered, "Open fire, Eggmen!" They obeyed.

Beth held her breath, praying that the smoke had been a diversionary tactic. She let it out in relief when Darkwing swooped down from above and knocked over two of the present Eggmen. He set down on the ground across the room from Beth, and began running towards her determinedly. For a heartbeat, it felt as if he and she were the only two people in the world. Unfortunately, Steelbeak quickly shattered that illusion, as he stepped in front of the devoted superhero, brandishing a gun of his own.

"I said, she's mine," he growled. Darkwing's brow darkened in a glare.

"Over my dead body," he returned.

Steelbeak cackled. "That's the idea, ya moron." He tightened his aim, but was stopped before he could pull the trigger as Darkwing leapt and kicked the gun out from his hands.

Beth watched, fearing that her heart was going to stop from all the excitement. Darkwing shot her a longing look as Steelbeak began to grapple with him. Her breath caught- guns or no guns, this was terrifying! She desperately wanted Darkwing to rescue her, and _now_... More than anything she just wanted to be out of here!

She jumped when a hand touched hers from behind. "Who-?" she gasped, turning to find Launchpad holding a finger to his bill.

"Shhh. It's me. I'll getcha out of here," he whispered, doing his best to untie her quickly. For a mechanic, he was surprisingly fumble-fingered at the task, but he managed in an admirable amount of time. Before Beth could even thank him, he grabbed her hand and pulled her down a hallway just past the exit tunnel.

"Should we really leave Darkwing behind?" she wondered as they ran.

Launchpad nodded. "Well, you should! I'm gonna go back and help, and you can wait for us here," he said, and slowed down. "I figured the important part was gettin' you out of-"

He was cut off as Beth threw herself into his arms. "Oh, Launchpad, I'm so glad you rescued me!" she cried, suddenly close to tears.

Surprised, he put his arms around her and held her comfortingly. "You okay?" he asked, worried. "They didn't hurt ya, did they?"

She shook her head, breathing quickly. He could still smell that strange perfume on her, so oddly appealing somehow. "No," she said. "They were very gentlemanly, actually, not at all how I'd expect a terrorist organization to act. But it was so scary! Steelbeak was saying he was going to kill me at first, and they captured me even though I didn't do anything, I wasn't even expecting to meet them, I mean, I was just standing there minding my own business-"

"Beth!" Darkwing ran in, unintentionally interrupting. At the sight of Beth in Launchpad's arms, he skidded to a halt. Beth, surprised, pulled away from Launchpad so quickly that she nearly pushed him off-balance. Darkwing shot Launchpad a brief glare, then turned his attention to Beth as he rushed to her and scooped her up in a hug. "Are you okay? I was going to save you, but Steelbeak wouldn't get out of my way, and... Well..."

"Yes, I'm fine. Launchpad saved me-" Beth began.

Darkwing surprised them both by turning to his sidekick with an acidic glare. "I had it under control, Launchpad," he said icily, then turned back to Beth, leaving Launchpad blinking with astonishment. "It's all my fault! I didn't even know you were here, but when we stumbled onto the hideout here by accident I saw you and I just- I got scared!" He pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Beth, I... I never realized it until now, but..."

A cough from Launchpad brought their attention away from one another. Weakly, he managed, "I, uh... don't wanna... interrupt or nothin', but... shouldn't we, y'know, get outta here?" Beth heard an edge to his voice that she hadn't expected- anger? Jealousy?- before she thought about his words and realized they were true. The yells down the corridor were undoubtedly Eggmen, and she was sure she could hear Steelbeak among them.

Darkwing took her hand, and the three of them ran from the building to the Ratcatcher.

On the way, she thought of the moment they'd nearly shared just then, but couldn't bring herself to resent Launchpad for ending it. It had been lovely, just like in the movies, an impossibly beautiful romantic moment... but it hadn't seemed very Drake-like. Something, she was now sure, was wrong- or at the very least, not right...

* * *

"Do you have any threes?"

"Go fish."

Maintaining what dignity she could, Gosalyn drew a card from the fish pile, bringing her grand total of cards to twenty-four.

Across from her, Honker examined the two cards he had left in his hand, considered, and finally asked, "Any sixes?" Gosalyn grudgingly handed him the card she had just drawn, plus the other two she'd been holding onto.

As Honker put his four cards down, she sighed. "How do you keep guessing what cards I draw??"

"Well," Honker began, drawing a breath, "it's really a simple matter of keeping track of which cards you didn't have at the beginning of the game, according to the ones I asked for, and then assuming the probability of -"

Gosalyn cut him off. "Skip it, Honk. You win anyway."

"But I still have one card left-"

"Here," she said, handing him all the cards she'd been holding. "It's gotta be in here somewhere."

The chairs spun around, blowing the cards that covered the floor into disarray. When they stopped, Beth and Drake were sitting in one chair while Launchpad, looking less than happy, occupied the other.

Beth stood up immediately and stretched, then stifled a yawn as she collapsed onto the couch. "I'm so tired! What a day!" she said, covering her face with her hands.

"Can I get you anything?" Drake asked, kneeling beside her.

"Oh no, I'm okay, really," she answered with a smile.

Drake took her hand. "Please let me get you something! Anything!!"

Pausing, Beth considered, looking a little nervous. "I... I guess I'd like a Koo-Koo Cola, since the one I had earlier got spilled..."

"Great! Be right back!" he said, jumping up and running to the kitchen. Launchpad watched him go, and then, almost as an afterthought, followed him.

Gosalyn shook her head. "Dad's acting a lot weirder than usual."

"You noticed, too?" Beth asked, a touch of relief evident in her voice. "I thought maybe it was just me." _I'd sort of HOPED it was just me,_ she added silently. "It's been a really strange day. I got kidnapped by FOWL."

Gosalyn sprang to her side instantly. "REALLY?? What was it like? Did you get tied to a big buzzsaw, and then Dad had to come in and untie you but somehow stop Steelbeak at the same time?"

Beth blinked. "Not... quite. Steelbeak didn't even try to kill me, actually. Drake said that wasn't normal for him... It seems like everyone I've been around has been acting weird today."

Inside the kitchen, Launchpad stood behind Drake as he crushed the ice for Beth's drink. After building his nerve, he finally cleared his throat nervously. "Um, DW..."

"Uh-huh?" Drake answered, distractedly.

Launchpad wasn't sure if he should go on, but he decided to stick with it. "Well, I... I was kinda wondering if maybe you could tell me, y'know, what's goin' on between you an' Beth?"

Humming, Drake went to the refrigerator and pulled out the bottle of Koo-Koo Cola as he answered. "Well, it's funny, LP, but today I finally realized what I should have been seeing about Beth all along! I always thought I just sort of tolerated her, but lately I've been seeing her as more and more of a good friend, and then today, well... I looked at her and it all just clicked!"

Launchpad scratched his head. "It... clicked?"

Beaming, Drake said, "I'm crazy about her! I've never met a woman who makes me feel the way she does! I don't know why, but all of a sudden I just know I can't live without her!" He sighed, oblivious to his friend's mournful disposition. "She's an incredible woman, you know."

"Yeah... I know," Launchpad said quietly.

Drake seemed to snap out of his dreamlike haze and finally noticed Launchpad's demeanour. "Oh... hey. I'm sorry, Launchpad, I kinda... forgot about how you felt." He suddenly felt very awkward. "I didn't mean for this to happen, buddy... You know I wouldn't do that to you, right? It's just... well, it's like I said, it just clicked today. I- I don't know what to..."

Launchpad smiled. "Hey, as long as you aren't gonna hurt her or anythin'. I mean, you're the one she loved all along. I'm not gonna stand in the way of that. Just... y'know... be good to her."

Drake slapped him on the shoulder. "You'll find someone, don't worry," he said, as comfortingly as he could manage. "You deserve it."

Launchpad didn't say what he was thinking: that he didn't want to find anyone other than Beth, that he had always been so sure that he and Beth were meant to be together, that if he couldn't be with Beth he didn't want to be with anyone. Knowing that it would only make Drake feel worse, he didn't say any of that. Instead he just nodded and gave Drake a thumbs-up.

A few minutes prior to this, back in the living room, Beth finished telling Gosalyn and Honker about her unwanted adventure earlier. Gosalyn seemed disappointed at the anti-climactic ending. "Do I sound egotistical when I say that all these men have seemed to have an interest in me, though, Gosalyn?" Beth asked.

Gosalyn shrugged. "I dunno. I mean, I might say yes, except that Dad is _definitely_ acting weird. Maybe you've got a love spell on you."

Beth snorted. "I hardly think there's magic involved, Gosalyn."

Not one to be put down, Gosalyn replied, "Hey, you've met Morgana, so you know magic _is_ real!"

Both were surprised when Honker suddenly spoke up. "Um, well, you know- without labeling magic as the culprit, pheromones _are_ a very influential determinant in interpersonal relationships." Gosalyn looked confused, but Beth considered this.

"Do you mean it might be the perfume?" she asked.

Honker looked away from her gaze. "Well, um... it was just a suggestion."

Beth thought for another moment. "Come to think of it... Every time a man has, you know, noticed me that way, they've noticed the perfume first."

"How can you _not_ notice the perfume?" Gosalyn muttered. "But hey, what about me? I can smell it too."

"Pheromones are generally gender-reactant," Honker answered. "You can smell it, but it doesn't have the same impact on you."

Amazed, Beth shook her head. "This is all way too weird. Wait, though- Honker, you're standing right here, and you're not affected."

Gosalyn answered for him. "He's got allergies. It's hayfever season."

Nodding, Beth said, "Well, that's consistent with our theory. But we'd better test this more before we jump to any conclusions."

"I'm allergic to, perfume, too," Honker added, and gave a stuffed-up sniffle. "So I probably couldn't smell it anyway."

"Really?" Beth said, just as Drake emerged from the kitchen. "Hey, so am I! But I haven't had any problems with this stuff!"

Drake handed her the glass of soda he'd gotten for her. "So are you what?" he asked fondly.

"Allergic to perfume. Thanks," she said as she took a sip. Then she handed the glass back to him. "I have to go, Drake, I really need to take a shower." She gave him a sheepish grin and indicated her foul-smelling shirt.

"We have a shower you can use," Drake replied.

Faltering, Beth cleared her throat. "Oh... well, I really should get home though. I haven't been home at all today, and my mother usually calls on Wednesdays. I'll come back later, though." She couldn't help smiling at his disappointed expression; whether this pheromone theory was right or not, she still felt the same about him. And he was so cute!

He sighed. "Okay... But you have to come back later." She nodded as she stood up, and he leaned over and gave her a small kiss on the bill. It left her lightheaded, and she nearly fell over before catching his arm to steady herself.

Embarrassed, she laughed nervously and made her way to the door, stopping to signal for Honker and Gosalyn to follow her after she got outside. Drake waved to her before she shut the door, then blew a kiss; she returned it, her heart beating wildly.

"Uh, hey Dad, Honker and I are going to his place," Gosalyn spoke up as soon as the door was closed. Drake nodded dreamily, in the haze that was normally reserved exclusively for meetings with Morgana. She looked to Honker, and they both shrugged, then left.

Outside, Beth was waiting for them by the mailbox. "Oh, good, you came," she said with a half-smile on her face. Gosalyn could nearly see the little hearts spinning around her head. "So, uh, I guess we should figure out some way to test this theory. Traditional experimentation requires a control group to go with the experimental groups, but we don't really have that luxury, now do we?"

"So what are we gonna do?" Gosalyn asked.

Beth shrugged. "Try and find a bunch of guys and see what happens?"

"We can look for Tank," said Honker. "He was in the room with you earlier, and he smelled the perfume. We can see what his reaction is."

Tank was sitting on his doorstep, watching them, as it turned out. When they started up the walk of the house, he rose and approached them, slowing down as he got closer. Finally he shyly approached while looking intently at the ground. Something was clutched behind his back. Beth worried that it might be firearms or something equally dangerous, and jumped as he produced a quite harmless bouquet of posies. "For you," he said quietly to Beth's feet.

"Uh..." She wasn't sure how to react to this. "Thank you, Tank!" she said uncertainly. Then she recognized the flowers. "Aren't these from my yard??"

He grinned at her. "Well, everyone knows you've got the best garden in the neighbourhood!"

"Thanks," Beth said, rolling her eyes. Gosalyn found all this immensely funny, and made no attempt to hide it. This led Tank to threaten violence, at which point Gosalyn threatened back, and it was only Beth's intervention that kept an after-school brawl from breaking out. "Gee Tank, I... I would have expected you to be inside studying, since..." She couldn't think of a plausible reason, and so she gave a mental shrug and blatantly lied. "Uh, you've always seemed like... like the intellectual type! Yeah! And you know, I ... uh... I find learned men _really_ attractive," she said on impulse.

Tank turned a deep red, and excused himself to do his homework. Gosalyn went into fresh peals of laughter.

Finally, Beth shushed her. "Well, that's another event in favour of our theory. Now, do either of you know a man who can't smell?"

Still laughing, Gosalyn managed, "No, but I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith..."

Honker cleared his throat. "Um, well, my Dad has a cold... I guess you could talk to him."

"Great!" said Beth, becoming more confident as the evidence piled up in support of this hypothesis. It was a wonderful little experiment, in its way, and she was enjoying herself in a way she hadn't had a chance to since she'd finished school. She rang the doorbell, and it was soon answered by a tired-looking Herb Muddlefoot.

"Hey, Bethie, how ya doin'?" he greeted her. "Don't get too close, I'm still kinda contagious."

She gave a sympathetic smile. "Oh, that's too bad, Herb. Head cold? Are you all good and stuffed up?" She leaned towards him. Honker found himself becoming increasingly uncomfortable with this experiment.

Herb on the other hand took no notice of any odd behaviour. "Nothin' good about it!" he said, and chuckled hoarsely. "Can't even smell the wife's cookin'! Say, you got somethin' in your eye?"

Blushing lightly, Beth stopped winking at him and cleared her throat. Honker was staring at her, wide-eyed, and even Gosalyn looked surprised by her behaviour. "Uh, yeah, it's gone now though. Well, thanks, Herb!" She gave him a little wave and headed off.

"Uh... any time, I guess," said Herb, and shut the door.

Beth walked down the sidewalk to her own house, slightly ahead of the two children following her. Could she really trust these limited results? As she walked, she thought back over the day: Steelbeak's advances, the Eggmen's strange fawning, the abrupt marriage proposal on the street and the ensuing fight over her while she'd been hiding. It was practically staring her in the face, now that she thought about it.

A couple passed on her left, and the man sniffed the air and then turned to stare at Beth as she went by. Gosalyn and Honker watched as the man, grinning stupidly, proceeded to walk into a mailbox while watching Beth. His better half picked him up worriedly, and then, noticing where his gaze was directed, yelled "Steven, you sleaze!" and pushed him over again.

There was little room left for argument.


	5. Act IV

**Something In the Air**

* * *

Act IV

"Do you have any of that perfume left?" Honker asked, seated at Beth's kitchen table as she fixed a quick snack to keep him and Gosalyn occupied while she showered.

She shook her head. "Nope, just what's on my shirt. And it's not all perfume- part of it is Koo-Koo Cola and I think the smell of the cab driver's weird cigarettes sank in, too."

Gosalyn dug into the bowl of pretzels and cheezy-poofs that Beth set in front of her. "Yech, no wonder you smell so weird. It's been a couple of hours and you're still funky."

Beth gave her a level look. "Thanks, Gosalyn," she deadpanned.

Awkwardly, Honker said, "Um... could I... maybe... that is, uh, do you think I could... examine your shirt? To try and see what the makeup of the perfume is?" Gosalyn couldn't help being amused by his request to look at Beth's shirt up close, and apparently it was making him more than a little uncomfortable himself.

"Sure!" Beth said cheerfully. "I'll change out of it and you can look it over. I have some microscopes and things upstairs, I'll bring them down, too. Anything else you think you'll need?"

Somehow it was immensely satisfying for Honker to find that Beth seemed to have any equipment he could request. He smiled, wishing his family were more like this. "Uh, that should be okay... I have some solvents in my backpack, so I should be able to separate the individual elements on my own."

Looking at her shirt distastefully, Beth stuck out her tongue. "Great- any excuse to get out of this thing is all I need." She sighed. "This used to be my best shirt, too..."

"Well, look at the bright side," Gosalyn commented. "At least now you'll have a great story to tell about one of the rags you keep under the sink."

* * *

It was an hour and a half before Beth felt confident that she had scrubbed the smell out of her feathers. In fact, she felt like she had come close to scrubbing her feathers clean off in spots- she'd probably be sore after she dried herself off. But as she took a deep breath while stepping out of the shower, she figured it was worth it.

Toweled off and freshly dressed, she found Gosalyn first in the living room and stood in front of her. "Smell me," she ordered. Gosalyn looked at her as if she had asked her to sing an entire opera in Yiddish. Beth elaborated. "The perfume? Can you smell it anymore?"

Reluctantly, still looking as if one arm were being twisted behind her back, Gosalyn leaned in and took a whiff. "All clear," she reported, visibly relieved.

Beth expressed her own relief in the form of a sigh. If nothing else, this meant that she wouldn't have to explain another time that it wasn't _her_ perfume, just something that had spilled on her. "So how are you guys coming along?"

With a snort of laughter, Gosalyn said, "_Honker_ is doing all sorts of smart things. I've been out here watching TV for about a half an hour now. Did you know they air the same programs on channel 38 as they do on channel 35, except that there's a four-second difference in between them?"

"Oh," said Beth, wondering why it was that Gosalyn could take the time to compute the exact time elapsed between tv stations, but didn't care to work with Honker at the microscope. Sometimes kids were beyond her, she thought with a sigh.

They entered the kitchen, where Honker was still diligently looking over his samples. "Hi," he said as she entered. "While you were gone, I extracted what I could of the mixture from your shirt and did my best to break it down. I organized samples onto these slides here," he indicated about five slides near the center of the table, "and I'm working on finding the composition of the basic elements involved. What it looks like is that the combined chemicals and compounds bonded to create a new effect when they interacted with your, um, body."

"I labeled the slides," Gosalyn stuck in.

Nodding, Beth smiled at her. "And you did a... good job," she said lamely. Turning back to Honker, she said, "So the effect that the mixture produced... was it pheromone-related?"

"Well, considering that the, um, romantic, uh... incidents seem to be related to the exposure of the mixture to your... uh... body secretions," he was obviously struggling to find delicate ways of speaking about sweat, "it seems likely. The chemical makeup did change again after that exposure. When I sampled sections that weren't exposed that way, like here at the hem, the findings were different." He pulled out a slide that was labelled "No fearamons", and fixed it under the microscope.

Beth made an impressed noise as she examined it. "Wow, this looks incredible! There's some kind of a synthetic bonding agent at work here, from the look of it. There're traces of frucose bonded to the atoms of...whatever this other substance is."

"That's what I thought," Honker affirmed. "I separated the frucose and other ingredients from your Koo-Koo Cola and this is what I got." He put in another slide, this one causing Beth to make a subdued "hmmm." Honker pushed up his glasses and sniffed. "I'm, um, not sure what it is."

"It's synthetic, like I supposed. Man-made. Not a perfume, though." Beth took a few strides to her junk drawer and pulled out a notepad to write out her notations, then hurried back to the microscope. "It looks vaguely carbon-based," she mused.

"Does it? I must have missed that," Honker answered, and he and Beth started talking about chemicals and makeup and things like that.

Gosalyn slumped in her chair and wondered if she was dying. Maybe she was being punished for something. Sheesh, if she'd known that the cool detective stuff was going to be over by this point, she'd have stayed at home!! She groaned as Beth made what was evidently a joke about atoms, and Honker dissolved into uncontrollable laughter. Some best friend. Gosalyn kept watching them and imagined that they were speaking in a foreign language; that made it a little more bearable. They practically were anyway. One word, "elemental", sounded a little like "elephants". The idea that Beth might be talking about elephants tickled Gosalyn to no end.

She paid more attention now, creating an imaginary conversation between Beth and Honker about elephants that had bitten Beth's sister.

**HONKER**: Did she die?

**BETH**: No, but she was never able to yodel again.

**HONKER**: A moose once bit my brother...

Beth nodded, examining the sample of sweat-affected chemical mixture. "Yep, definite alterations in sweat production there. It's like it kicked pheromone production into hyperdrive." She picked up the slide of the pure sample of the synthesized chemical in her other hand. "And this... I have no idea. It looks like it's an agent with the same sort of effect as chloroform, only less powerful. Certainly intended to produce a strong odor, though. I guess it would probably serve to shut the mind down totally."

"Maybe when it interacted with the other agents, and then you, it became gender-specific and started leaving the minds of people who could smell it open to suggestion," Honker put forth.

Shrugging, Beth said, "Who knows? I guess we should really try to figure out how to counteract the effects."

Honker thought for a moment, then said, "Well, since it seems to work along the same lines as chloroform, and chloroform is temporary, maybe it wears off."

"We can't work with maybes, though," Beth said with a sigh. "If it doesn't, there's not just Drake and your brother who have been affected by this. There's all those men I passed on the street- Oh," she moaned as she realized how hard it would be to track them all down and give them the antidote. "This is going to be so tough."

"Let's go over our options," Honker said. "It might just wear off."

"It might also be cancelled now that I'm not wearing the chemicals anymore," Beth added. But she frowned. "I just can't take that risk. Do you think if we worked together really hard, we could come up with an antidote?"

"Maybe," Honker said slowly. "But we don't have a lot to work with- just the stuff on your shirt, and that's getting really old now."

Gosalyn was watching them intently, a big grin covering her face. Honker and Beth looked at each other, then Beth turned to her. "Gosalyn? Do you know something we don't?"

Gosalyn broke into giggles and answered, "I think so, guys, but if an elephant and a moose had kids, the tusks and horns would make its head really heavy!" She laughed for a few moments before noticing that Honker and Beth were staring at her. Calming, she said, "Oh, you were really talking to me. Sorry. Um, I wasn't really listening..."

"Maybe it would help if you could find the person who created the original mixture," Honker put in helpfully.

Beth would have snapped her fingers if she hadn't been holding a slide in each hand. "Tonya!" she nearly gasped. It was her best bet. After setting the slides down as gently as she could, she dashed to the phone book and found the only Skitting listed. The given first name was simply T.; it had to be her. She dialed and let the phone ring more than six times.

In her lab, Tonya gradually became aware of the ringing of the phone. She tried to block it out, but it just continued persistently. Finally she wrenched herself away from her work and snatched the phone off its cradle. "Yes?"

A pause, and then a too-familiar voice stuttered, "Uh, is- is this Tonya Skitting?"

"Yes."

"Oh, good. Tonya, it's Beth Webfoot, from work." Of course, it would have to be, wouldn't it? Beth Webfoot seemed to, from the first moment they met, get her kicks from spoiling all of Tonya's dreams. Another pause on the other end of the line; evidently she was waiting for a response after her introduction. When she didn't get one, she said, "Um, well, how are you?"

Tonya snorted in irritation. "Busy," she answered.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" There was genuine regret in her voice, but it was too late now. "Look, I'm really just calling to ask you a question. Um, that perfumey kind of chemical that got spilled onto me earlier today, uh..."

The memory only inflamed Tonya's resentment of her obnoxious coworker. Not only had the klutz wasted it, but she'd proved in a disappointingly direct manner that the mind-control potion most definitely did not work. "What about it?" she asked wearily.

Drawing a breath, Beth said, "Uh, well, could you let me know where you got it? Because, it's having some sort of... unforeseen consequences I think, and I was just sort of wondering if there was a place where I could get an antidote or anything?"

"No, I don't think so," Tonya said, her one thought that of getting off the phone with Beth. Of _course_ the consequences had been unexpected, Beth knew nothing about her experiment in the first place. "No, I don't remember where I got it from actually. I really need to go now."

"Wait, please!" Beth begged, desperation in her voice. "Oh, please, Tonya, it's really too much- it's like some kind of love poti-"

"I'm very busy and I have to go," Tonya repeated, and then hung up the phone. Instantly she wished she hadn't, as the words "love potion" registered in her mind. Her eyes grew wide- was _that_ what the effect was?? Instead of being a mind-control potion, she had somehow altered it to create a love potion? It just figured that Beth would be the one to get _her_ creation to work that way!!

But still... The possibilities slowly dawned on her, more and more, and she grinned as the idea grew more exciting. If _she_ could create a love potion... Her heart beat sped up as she returned to her work with this new idea. Her life could still be perfect, she could still have everything she wanted... with a little effort.

* * *

Frustrated, Beth hung up the phone at her house. "She was- really busy," she said to Honker and Gosalyn, who were watching her curiously. "And she didn't know where to go for help."

Gosalyn looked sympathetic. "What are you going to do now?" she asked.

With a shrug, Beth said, "I'm gonna do the best I can, I guess. Honker and I will have to set about looking for a cure to-" She stopped as the doorbell rang, and looked pained. "Ah, I'll be right back."

She opened the door to find Drake beaming at her. "Hi," he said sheepishly, inviting himself in and stepping past her. "I, uh, I just couldn't wait any longer to see you again. Is this a bad time?"

Her heart was skipping again. She opened her mouth to tell him that actually, the timing was a little bad, and she'd have to see him later that night. Her voice didn't seem to care what her mind told it to say, and made up its own script. "N-no! I mean, well, not really! I was just... doing... nothing." Beth was dismayed to find that not only was she mixing up her priorities, but her tendency to stick her foot in her mouth seemed to have intensified about tenfold. "B-but, um, aren't you supposed to be out looking for Steelbeak?"

He actually blushed. "I, uh... I couldn't concentrate on anything. All I could think about was you, and... uh, I just really think I need to talk to you."

Well, this answered the question of whether the infatuation lasted without the perfume's presence. She thought of Honker and Gosalyn in the next room, and hoped they stayed put for a while. "W-we can talk now..."

"Oh, good." He started pacing, and speaking as he walked. "Well, Beth, I've known you for a while now, right?"

"Seven months," she supplied helpfully.

He nodded. "Seven months. Wow. Anyway, well... um... Lately, I've been thinking about... maybe, well, maybe it's time to... um..." He looked up at her, and seemed to get distracted. "Time to think about your eyes..." he muttered.

She blinked in confusion. "Uh... really?"

Flustered, he shook his head. "No! I mean, not that I don't want to think about your eyes, but- ah, what I mean is, I've been thinking of you as more than a friend lately, Beth, and I think... I think I want to start a... a serious relationship. You and me." He flashed a nervous grin at her.

Beth's legs seemed to fold under her. "Oh, Drake," she breathed, hoping this wasn't just another dream, "I... I think I'm ready for that."

"Oh, Beth, that's great!" His grin was so wide it threatened to split his head in two. Rushing to her side, he took her hand in his- then dropped to one knee. "Beth Webfoot- do me the honour of giving me your hand in marriage?" he said, a bit stiffly but emphatically.

Her stomach felt like it had had the air kicked out of it. She managed to catch herself before she fell over, but just barely. "Uh-" This had to be a dream. One of those dreams that never, ever happened in real life. "Uh, but Drake, isn't it- a little early for that?"

"Too early to spend our lives together, Beth? Of course not! Our love is complete! Why wait?"

When he put it like that, she couldn't think of any specific reason. But somehow, despite all her dreams of moments like this, she felt... wrong, somehow. Well, of course she felt wrong- he'd practically been brainwashed into this! But... there was more to it than that, deep inside. She didn't know what it was, couldn't find a word for it, but it spread in cold tendrils from the pit of her stomach through the rest of her body. She took a faltering step backwards, her mouth working soundlessly as she tried to think of an excuse. She couldn't even provide one for herself, however. Didn't she love him? "I..." Of course she loved him. But was she ready for marriage? To _anyone_? "I don't... I don't know, Drake, I..."

Drake looked up at her, his expression hopeful and so nervous he looked almost close to panic. And as she looked into that face, some of the cold melted, replaced with a heated love and near-unconditional devotion. But- the cold didn't leave. She was in conflict, and could say nothing.

From the look on Drake's face, he needed an answer now. And by no means was she ready to give one. Desperate, she searched for an excuse to get away. "I just remembered! I promised I'd bring Launchpad a cup of... um..." What was something Launchpad might use? "...Motor oil."

Drake's look changed to one that essentially said, 'I don't _want_ to think you're crazy, but you're not giving me much choice here.'

Embarrassed, she shrugged. "Well, you know Launchpad!"

She ducked into the kitchen with the excuse of getting a cup, and took Gosalyn by the shoulders. "Gos! You have to distract your father!"

Gosalyn, who had been raiding Beth's refrigerator, dropped a pickle back into the jar it had come from. "How?"

"Any way you can!" Beth said desperately.

"Um..." Honker spoke up. "You do realize you're giving Gosalyn permission to get into trouble in your house?"

Beth nodded wearily. "I don't have much time. Just try not to break too much." Gosalyn nodded excitedly, and Beth grabbed a measuring cup and a can of oil from beneath the sink, and ran back into the living room.

Drake smiled when she came back in. "I'll go with you," he said, getting up from the couch.

"Uh, thanks, that's-" Beth was mercifully saved- well, mercifully may have been a strong description- when a crash came from the kitchen and the unmistakable smell of pickles filled the air. Beth stung with some regret- she'd been looking forward to those pickles. Still, she thanked Gosalyn silently. "Oh yeah, I forgot, Gos is in my kitchen. Watch her to make sure she doesn't get into any more trouble? Thanks _so_ much!" She ran out of the door before Drake could refuse, and headed for the Mallard house, two houses down.


	6. Act V

**Something in the Air**

* * *

Act V

The living room in the Mallard household was empty. However, the sounds coming from the kitchen suggested that Launchpad was in there, so Beth wasted no time in proving this hypothesis.

He was standing over the sink, peeling a potato, when she came in. "Launchpad!" she said as she entered, and he jumped.

"Oh- Beth! I didn't expect to see ya for a while- didn't Drake go over to your house?"

She nodded, her eyes wide. "I don't know what to do! I'm having a really weird day, and everything is just so confusing!" She stopped. "Did I interrupt you?"

"Nah," he said, shrugging. "Since everyone else is out, I'm just makin' dinner. I'm not sure what I'm gonna have yet, but these potatoes look good!" He chuckled, and went back to the peeling. "So what's confusing?"

Sighing, she shook her head. "Everything," she repeated. "First I have this crazy meeting at work, and then I get this horrible chemical spilled all over me, and all of a sudden men are going nuts over me, then I get kidnapped, and then Drake comes over and proposes-" She stopped as Launchpad cried out, dropping the potato and knife and holding his finger. "Oh, what happened?" she asked.

Numbed by her revelation, he didn't move when she took his hand to see the cut. "Nothing," he said. She looked up from the cut and their eyes met. After a moment's pause, he muttered, "Congratulations."

It hit her like a bag of bricks. Of course! Of course Launchpad would be under the spell, too! And she was such a fool, never thinking of that, now flaunting her status with Drake... Chemically induced or no, these were still the feelings of her best friend, and the news had obviously shaken him to the core.

"I'm sorry," she began, nervously. "I really should have thought before I said that. I mean, I know... how you feel about me right now."

Launchpad thought his heart was going to stop beating. Somehow he managed to push out, "You... do?" without having a single breath of air in his lungs.

She nodded. "It's a spell, though. We have it all figured out... Well, most of the way figured out anyway. Honker and I that is. We're working on a cure, well, at the moment Honker's the one working, since I'm here. Um, here, let me-" She wet a paper towel and brought it back to him, took his hand again, and began dabbing gently at the cut. "Anyway, that's the reason you and Drake and everyone else are... um, you know. There's a love spell on me, well, not really a spell at all because it has a scientific explanation, but it might as well be a love spell for the effects it's having." He wasn't answering, so she tried to ignore the awkwardness of the situation by concentrating on the cut and continuing her explanation. "It was that perfume, the stuff I was wearing earlier that smelled really awful? Well it turns out that it wasn't perfume at all but some kind of weird chemical that affects people's minds and it mixed with something else and in the end it affected my pheromones- do you know what pheromones are?- well, in any case, what it basically does is make men fall in love with me when they smell it. But Honker is working on a cure right now and I'm going to help him in just a few minutes, and we'll have everything set straight! Don't worry! I know what you're feeling right now is confusing, but it'll be okay in the end, really." She took a deep breath, then smiled reassuringly.

Launchpad tried to wrap his mind around what she'd said; in truth, he'd been concentrating on the feeling of her hands holding his, gently dabbing at the cut. She was DW's now, he told himself. He had to stop longing for her, because it was just never going to happen between them. He nodded. "I guess so," he said, reluctant to admit that he hadn't been attending very closely to what she'd been saying. Whatever it was, the gist of it as he heard it was that she thought his feelings were coming from something outside him. In other words, she didn't know how he felt, although she thought she did.

She sighed, and after a pause, said, "I'm sorry you cut your finger over me."

At a loss, he said, "Don't worry about it." He realized that, in some small way, he was relieved that she didn't know the depth of his real feelings; it would be a lot easier if she didn't have to deal with him, in the long run.

"There, that looks a little better," she said to his hand. She let go and threw the paper towel away, then asked him, "Where are the band-aids?"

"Cupboard, over there," he answered quietly. As she stood on tiptoe to reach the top shelf, he forced himself to ask, "So- are you gonna?"

She looked back at him quickly. "What?"

"Marry DW. You said he asked." He could have sworn she looked slightly panicked before she turned back to the cupboard. Must've been his imagination. "I mean... that's what you've always wanted, right?"

Beth's heart went out to him in a flash; he must be pining for her, but he was still playing the faithful best friend. It was strange, how subdued he was acting- Drake, and Steelbeak, and everyone else had all been intensely clamouring at her, trying to win her, but Launchpad simply took a step back. For a second she wondered if maybe he wasn't affected by the perfume, but then again, he hadn't denied loving her when she'd mentioned it. With the band-aids in hand, she turned back to him.

"Well... I thought it was," she answered, doubt obvious in her voice. "I mean, don't get me wrong- you know how I've always felt about Drake." Even when she tried to put it delicately, Launchpad looked like he'd just seen someone kick about a dozen puppies, one after the other. She frowned and focused her attention on unwrapping the band-aid so that she wouldn't have to look at his face. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to keep rubbing it in."

"It's okay. Talk to me like ya normally would." He put his other hand over hers, the warmth of his feathers matching the warmth in his voice.

She smiled softly to herself as she went on. "But, the whole reason I came over here is because- because I... I can't say yes." His hand tightened around hers a little. "I mean, the entire reason Drake is... is feeling this way is the same reason you are, and can I really take advantage of that? He doesn't have any real control over his feelings. And what if it wears off?"

Sighing, she wound the band-aid around his finger absently, almost lingering over it. "Besides that, I don't... I don't know if I'm ready. Something in me feels... strange. Or is that normal?"

He thought on it. "I think," he said slowly, "that if you're ready, you just know. It feels like the most normal thing in the world. But..." He chuckled. "I might not be the greatest person to ask about that. I haven't had that many, uh, long-term relationships."

Smiling, she looked up at him. "I find that hard to believe."

"Why's that?"

"I can't believe any girl would let you get away." She grinned, still holding his hand. He smiled, and took his other hand from over hers, holding it to her face gently. With no more words, he bent and kissed her.

How much time passed before Beth realized exactly what was going on, she wasn't sure. Even then, his kiss held so much comfort and felt so easy that it took her a while to remember to panic. When she finally came to awareness, she was leaning into his embrace, her hands clasped against her chest and her head slightly tilted. A real movie moment- but with the wrong man.

She gasped, pushing away from him, and even as she covered her bill in shock and stepped away his eyes went wide and he nearly ran to the other side of the room. With most of the kitchen between them, they stood and stared at each other- two frozen pictures of startled guilt.

He broke the silence first, desperate to end it before it choked them. "S-sorry. I don't know why I did that. I'm so sorry."

Shaking her head, Beth instantly did her best to reassure him. "Oh no, no no! It's not your fault, don't feel bad!" She didn't voice the thought that brought her the most anxiety: that she could have refused him, that she had let him kiss her- that the blame was really hers alone. Instead, she said, "I mean it took me by surprise but- I know it's just the spell!"

Launchpad flushed and hung his head. "I guess... but... well, no-"

They jumped at the sound of the front door opening. "Hello?" called Drake from the living room. "Launchpad? Beth?"

The look of terror that passed over Beth's face couldn't have been greater if she'd stepped into a nest of cobras. Her eyes met Launchpad's, and they shared a moment of panic just before Drake found them.

Smiling when he saw her, Drake barely gave a look to Launchpad as he entered. "There you are! I got lonely." He noticed his sidekick over on the other side of the room, looking mildly panicked. Something was strange about this picture. Puzzled, he asked, "What's going on?"

"Launchpad cut his finger!" Beth blurted out abruptly. After a moment's pause she added, "...I was tending to it." Launchpad held up his bandaged finger, as if for proof.

"Oh, playing the nursemaid, huh?" Drake came closer to her and put his arms around her waist. "Aren't you just the sweetest thing?" Beth laughed nervously and shook her head. "No, you are! Isn't she, LP?"

Launchpad found that his mouth had gone quite dry. "Aha... uh, yep, she is that." He wished he were anywhere but there. "Uh, y'know what, I gotta go. I had some tune-ups to do on the TQ today, so, uh... you know." With a shrug that he hoped looked casual, he turned and nearly fled from the kitchen.

"My little love blossom," Drake said happily, barely noticing Launchpad's departure. Beth surprised him by turning in his embrace, throwing her arms around his shoulders, and initiating a somewhat clumsy but obviously well-felt kiss. When he was able, he grinned at her. "Well! Aren't we affectionate today!"

She smiled, looking a little less uncomfortable than she had a moment or two ago, then pulled out of his embrace. "Uh, sorry to run again, Drake, but I have to call my mother to tell her- well, to tell her that I'm getting married!" She let out a nervous giggle as Drake's face lit up with joy. One more brief kiss and she ran out of the kitchen.

As she flew down the pathway, she wondered why she'd told him that. Guilt, no doubt, she realized. Her heart sank. How could she have let this happen? Nervousness about marrying Drake aside, she loved him completely- and yet she'd let Launchpad kiss her, without objections.

Maybe it was a friendly kiss. Well, not from him of course- but maybe that was why she'd let him do it? Sure- she had, after all, complimented him a moment before. He'd bent to her, and she'd kissed him as a friend, a brother. Except, of course, for the fact that it had gone on at least twice as long as a friendly kiss. She'd even lost track of it, for crying out loud. She had no excuse; it was a moment of weakness.

Well, then again, being kissed by a man in love with you could do that to you. Probably. Before today, she'd never been kissed by a man who was in love with her. Which led her to another question: how could she have failed to realize that Launchpad was affected by the spell? She'd seen the effect it was having on every man she met, and yet she'd totally ignored Launchpad. Then again, before that kiss, he had shown no signs of being smitten; he acted the same way he always did, like a best friend. Why would he act differently than the other men she'd interacted with? Did the chemical have a delayed effect on him? Maybe its effects were only partial on some people?

He was acting just the way he normally did... except for that kiss.

This settled it; she had to find the antidote for this love spell business. If not, Launchpad would be left miserably loving her from afar, and acting... acting the way he always did. Which made no sense.

* * *

Steelbeak tapped the stupid rock he was supposed to be examining on the table in front of him. Let FOWL High Command figure this one out; he had no idea how this "Midas stone" was supposed to go. Actually all he could think of was that brunette vision who Darkwing had carted off. He'd tried to tell himself he was glad to be rid of her; after all, having a prisoner get in the way when she wasn't needed was just a pain. But he found himself missing her gentle mannerisms, and her almost skittish temperament. He regretted the fact that she'd left while scared of him; sure, it was an opinion he cultivated, but somehow he didn't want her to keep that opinion like the others. He wanted to show her the real Steelbeak, the guy underneath the spy.

He snapped out of his reverie when the stone tumbled off the table and clinked almost metallically on the ground. Stooping to pick it up, he wondered just what the heck this thing was made of, anyway. It looked like coloured glass, but it was so light! Almost like it was hollow! And the glowing was the weirdest part. The thing gave off more light than a glow stick! Well, as long as he couldn't figure out how to use it to get gold, he might as well take care of the other part of his assignment.

"Boys!" he called to the Eggmen on duty. The three were standing in the corner, and each was staring off into the distance. He had to call to them again before they heard him and responded; he didn't have the presence of mind to yell at them, so just let it go. "Time to make the ransom video," he announced, straightening his bow tie and smoothing back his comb, wishing the object of his affection were here to admire him. The Eggmen scrambled to put together a mock-studio for the recording purposes. FOWL intended to make their demands known before they returned this Philosopher's Stone thingie; of course, they also intended to find out the way it worked so that they could make plenty of their own, too. But SHUSH wasn't going to be told that.

Steelbeak seated himself in front of the camera, his thoughts again going to the beautiful woman he'd had, and lost, earlier. Beth, that was her name. This ransom video was probably a good way to get his mind off her... Getting on down to business, that was the best thing to do. No problem. He looked into the camera, trying to think of what to say.

* * *

Beth tried not to get exasperated as Drake interrupted her for the fourth time. Composing herself, she put down the slide she had in her left hand and turned to him.

He smiled back. "Can I refill your juice for you, honey wumpus?"

She had to choke back the urge to giggle as her bill turned into an involuntary smile. "That's okay, darling, I can get it for myself when I want more."

"But I like helping you, snugglepuss!"

Honker sighed and tried not to pay any attention to the two adults as they nuzzled bills. He'd had a feeling that moving their research into the Mallard house would be a bad idea, and the fact that they'd gotten about half as much done as they had at Beth's house didn't disprove it. He looked up from his notes and sighed- Beth was supposed to be dictating to him, and there was just nothing he could do until she started again.

Giggling, she glanced over at Honker and seemed to remember him- and what they were doing. "Oh- uh, Drake," she said, pulling out of his embrace, "Honker and I really need to get back to this."

"I'll just get you that drink, then," he said lightly, and set off to the kitchen with her glass in hand.

"Drake?" she called, stopping him. "Don't you- I mean, not that I don't like having you around," she said, and giggled again, "but don't you maybe want to... you know... go fight Steelbeak?"

Drake began hedging immediately. "Wwwwwwell," he began, in a tone of voice that suggested he was doing some serious rationalizing, "Steelbeak knows that I know where his hideout is. That means that he'll be expecting me to return, and I'll have to have a specific plan of attack before I try.

"And _that_," he continued, "means I'll have to wait until after dinner, because I really can't think on an empty stomach." Smiling, he walked back to her and put his arms around her shoulders. "Besides, you went through a lot today. I have to make sure _you're_ okay, now don't I?"

She smiled, blushing, then cleared her throat. "But I really should get back to this... Um, is Launchpad back?" she added, trying too hard to sound casual.

Fortunately, it was apparently casual enough for Drake's purposes. "He's still at the Tower. I haven't seen him stay there _this_ long in months." Patting her on the back, he let her go. "I'll get you that drink now and then we'll start dinner."

"Okay," she beamed, then sighed and turned back to Honker. Her smile disappeared, and she looked sheepish. "I know, I know! I can't help it!"

Honker blinked. "Uh, I-"

"I just figured I should enjoy it while I could, right? I mean, I've waited _so long_ for this, and... you know? And he'd be hurt if I told him to leave me alone... It's just a little while longer..." Honker paused, then took a breath, and Beth jumped back in. "I _know_! I shouldn't rationalize! And I shouldn't make him get me drinks. I'm weak, I know, I'm weak." She sighed. "Let's get back to work."

"Um..." Honker considered this, since Beth had ended the conversation before he could tell her he really had nothing to say on the subject. Then he shrugged. "Okay." They went back to their previous efforts, with Beth dictating her observations and Honker writing them down, for another ten minutes before Drake came by and distracted Beth again. Honker sighed.

By dinner, Gosalyn was several levels higher in her WhiffleQuest III game- a good seven levels above Drake already- while Honker and Beth had about fifteen pages of notes and very few answers to the same questions as before. Launchpad was still absent, and Beth noticed it more than anyone else. She understood his uneasiness around her- she felt it too- but he didn't have to stay away! That made her feel even worse, knowing that it was essentially her presence that was keeping Launchpad from dinner in his own house. He had nothing to feel guilty about, after all- she'd explained about the love "spell". Even as Drake toasted her for her promotion, she kept an ear out for the sound of the chairs from the Tower that would signal Launchpad's return.

When she finally heard it, her heart leapt and she stood in her chair for a moment before realizing she was doing it. Drake stared at her. "It's just the chairs," he said soothingly.

She blushed. "Ah... I know... I just- um..." She sat back down. "Never mind."

Launchpad came in, and gave Beth a quick, awkward smile before addressing Drake. "DW, SHUSH called ya. More than once, I think- I've been workin' on the TQ for a while an' didn't hear it ring."

Drake grimaced. "Did you talk to them?"

"Nope. Just took a message. Director Hooter said he needed to talk to ya, it was urgent, and you should get in touch the moment you got in. Ooh, french fries." Launchpad finished this thought by taking a handful of the leftover fries and shovelling them into his mouth. "Sho," he said, chewing, "wha' should we do?"

Standing, Drake sighed. "Time to get back to work. Beth, you're coming, right?"

"I..." Beth blinked in surprise, and looked at Honker and Gosalyn. Gosalyn rolled her eyes. Better to say no, she decided, and started to. One look at Drake, however, and she melted. "Sure," she said, and giggled. Gosalyn shook her head as Drake and Beth started clearing the table.

"Um, Miss Webfoot," Honker said quietly, catching her arm as she passed him. "Before you go, can we look over the notes?"

She looked guilty. "Of course. I won't go, I'll stay with you and we'll figure this out. Okay?"

"You don't have to stay," Honker answered, but he seemed pleased.

Gosalyn came out of the kitchen with a bowl of ice cream, caught sight of them setting up their lab instruments on the dining room table, and groaned. "You're doing this _again_? Don't you guys ever quit?"

"This is important," said Beth as Honker set up the microscope. "And even though we've been looking at the same slides for about three hours now, we have to keep looking until we figure this stuff out!"

Through a mouthful of ice cream, Gosalyn said, "Maybe you've been looking at it too long. Maybe you need to just let it perforate."

Honker looked up at Beth. "She has a point," he said. "And I think you mean 'percolate'." Gosalyn shrugged and kept eating.

"Okay," Beth said, "let's go over our notes, then."

"Awwww," Gosalyn exclaimed, "that's not what I meant at _all_! You guys are the pits! Remind me never to let you hang out together again!" With that, she left for the video game system in the living room.

The notes were rough, but at least Honker's shorthand was legible. In fact, Beth thought absently, his shorthand was better than her own. As she compared two sets of notes from different sessions of examining the formula, something caught her eye. "Look," she said, pointing, "they don't match exactly."

"I noticed that," Honker answered. "I was thinking maybe there'd been some decomposition in the slide's sample."

"Well, the microscope may have been adjusted differently. But it might indicate an instability in the formula's composition, also. It might turn out that after a certain amount of exposure, it loses its effects. Here, why don't we-"

She never got to finish her thought, as Darkwing came back into the room just then. "Ready, Beth?"

Honker waited for her to tell him that she wasn't going, and that she's see him later. There was a moment of silence, and then Beth sprang to her feet and chirped, "Sure!" She shot Honker an apologetic look and bounded towards her love. The chairs spun, and they were gone. Honker sighed, gathered up his notebooks, and walked into the living room.

Without tearing her eyes off the screen, Gosalyn said, "I figured that'd happen. She's never been able to say no to Dad. Wanna play?"

"Um, no thanks," said Honker determinedly. "I have the notes, and I guess I'd better keep looking at this so that when Miss Webfoot comes back we can keep working."

"You," Gosalyn pronounced, as she directed the graphic bits on the screen to leap a chasm, "are a workaholic."


	7. Act VI

**Something In the Air**

* * *

Act VI

J. Gander Hooter's image on Darkwing's vidscreen looked worried. "So you see, Darkwing, the situation has become more grave... and a bit more bizarre," he said. Beth, who had been instructed to stay offscreen for the call, sat within earshot and gathered information about the case.

"So you got a ransom tape from Steelbeak? I don't suppose it gives any new info?" Darkwing asked, his attention focused on his work now instead of Beth. She admired that.

The image of J. Gander shook its head. "Some, but not much. See for yourself."

The picture changed, from the elderly director of SHUSH to the younger, suave but distracted-looking agent of FOWL. Steelbeak's taped image wiped his forehead in an uncharacteristic display of nervousness, and began. "Hello, SHUSH folks! We here at FOWL are, uh... well, we got yer rock." He chuckled half-heartedly, looking uncomfortable. "Y'know we like to play fair, though, so we're gonna give you every opportunity to get this pretty little thing back... So long as you go by our rules." The message was decidedly confusing so far. Steelbeak was normally much more in control of his words, and the situation.

He cleared his throat, and continued. "Uh, first of all, the price is at fifty mil, non-negotiable, and, uh..." He looked slightly frantic for a second, then spat out, "And there's a woman who's in on this too! No deal unless you turn her over to us! Her name's Beth-" he paused, obviously trying to remember a last name, but Beth hadn't given one. The woman in question, listening to the transmission, sat wide-eyed. The taped message went on. "Well, that's all she goes by. Ask Darkwing Duck about her, he'll know who I mean. Without her, you get nothin'!"

The screen went black, and a moment later J. Gander reappeared. "So, Darkwing, do you know this young lady Steelbeak is referring to?"

Darkwing, looking shocked, gaped silently for a moment. "I- I... No, I don't think I do," he finally lied. Beth, across the room, jumped up and shook her head at him. He glared back, then turned back to the vidscreen. "Sorry, J. Gander, but he must be... thinking of someone else."

J. Gander looked only slightly disappointed. "No matter. We have no intention of bargaining with FOWL anyway; however, Steelbeak's distraction and anxiety may be linked to this woman, and we'd be interested in learning more about her. We have no records of any FOWL agents who go by that name." He shook his head, and removed his glasses to polish them serenely as he continued. "In any case, despite the deal Steelbeak implied in this video, we doubt very much that FOWL intends to just give the stone back. Therefore, it is of the utmost importance that you, Darkwing, retrieve the stone before they can use it." Replacing his glasses, he found that Darkwing was looking intently offscreen and evidently engaged in a silent argument with someone. Most likely that young girl he was often seen with; J. Gander sighed patiently and waited for the wordless discussion to end.

"Oh, uh, sorry J. Gander," he said finally, returning his attention to the screen. "I'll get to work on it right away."

"Wonderful. Do you know where Steelbeak is hiding out yet?"

Darkwing flushed a little. "Uh, I uh... have some leads," he said vaguely. Then he sniffed proudly and straightened up. "You can count on me!"

"Before you go, I think it's best that I tell you as much as I can about the Philosopher's Stone," said J. Gander. He had to pause again, as Darkwing's attention was once more diverted briefly to a quiet scuffle off the screen. When Darkwing looked back apologetically, J. Gander continued as if he there had been no interruption. "The stone is a legendary element which was, centuries ago, supposed to have the ability to transform baser elements into gold. It was long ago debunked, of course, but its discovery right now is an incredible potential asset to the scientific community- not to mention SHUSH's labs itself."

"And if FOWL gets the ability to make gold for themselves out of anything, we could be in real trouble economically," Darkwing said as an afterthought.

J. Gander nodded. "You'd better come in for more thorough briefing," he said formally.

Darkwing looked towards Beth, a little reluctantly, but nodded to the Director of SHUSH. "Launchpad and I will be right in," he said. J. Gander's image snapped off, replaced by the SHUSH logo. His communication done, he stood and walked quickly to Beth. "And you are _not_ going!" he said, before she even had the chance to ask.

Beth looked at him, frustrated. "But Drake! It's the perfect opportunity! I understand more about chemistry than you do, and I'm dying to see how the real Philosopher's Stone would work- if this _is_ the real Stone. Besides that, I have an edge on Steelbeak!"

Arching an eyebrow, Darkwing asked, "Oh really? And that is...?"

She flushed. "W-well, they ... I just don't think he'll hurt me. Trust me!"

He shook his head, putting his arms around her. "Just a few hours ago you were terrified at the idea of being involved in spy work... and you were right! Beth, you can't put yourself in danger for me."

"But I won't be-"

"Hey," he said, putting a finger to her bill. "The answer is _no_. Got me?" His tone was gentle, but firm. Beth realized there was no point in arguing further. She wilted, nodding her head. "Great. I'll take you home before I go to SHUSH."

They got back to the house to find Gosalyn ahead on her game by another seven levels, while Honker laboriously examined Beth's notes about the chemical solution. Darkwing set about getting a few gadgets together to use in the attack on Steelbeak, since the FOWL agent would indubitably be expecting him. After he'd left the room, Beth waited a full minute and a half before asking Gosalyn how to sneak out.

Gosalyn blinked at her. "Sneak out? Are you serious??"

"Shhhhh! It's necessary! Drake won't let me go otherwise, and-"

"Hey, you don't have to explain it to me!" Gosalyn said, grinning. She hit pause on her video game and stood up. "I just wanted to know if you meant it! C'mon, I'll give you the quickie lesson."

Upstairs, Gosalyn entered her room and pulled a length of knotted up bedsheet from the closet. Then she looped it around the end of the bedpost. "Okay, usually the easiest thing to do is to climb on down. Want me to leave it out so you can get back up?"

Beth looked at her incredulously. "_Climb_ down that? But Gosalyn- wouldn't it make much more sense to just sort of... go quietly out the front door?"

Gosalyn looked at her sternly. "Do you want to sneak out, or do you want to just walk out the door? I mean, I thought you came to me because you wanted to do this right, but hey..."

Beth gave a weary sigh. "Okay, fine. I'll climb. And, um... cover for me, okay?" Gosalyn made an 'O.K' sign with her fingers. Beth smiled. "Thanks." She awkwardly swung her legs over the windowsill, and promptly nearly tumbled right out before she got a death grip on the sheet.

"Just loosen one hand and slide it down each time," Gosalyn coached her. Beth did as instructed, and made it safely to the ground. She and Gosalyn exchanged thumbs-up signs, and then she left. Gosalyn hung out the window, and sighed nostalgically. "They grow up so fast!"

* * *

Tonya checked the clock on the wall in her lab, and blinked; somehow about two hours had passed since she'd started work on altering the mind-control potion. Not that she was especially surprised... This sort of thing happened to her all the time. Still, perhaps it was time for some dinner.

She flicked on the lights in the hallway as she walked towards the elevator, shuffling along the well-worn and uncomfortably dusty wood floor. The fourth floor, which was the one where she kept her laboratory, was for some reason the least drafty in the whole apartment building. Since she spent more time in her lab than she did in any other room, it made sense to keep it there.

The whole building wasn't that big, but she was looked upon as odd for keeping it totally to herself. The place had been a full apartment housing building, which her father had left her after he passed away; the remainder of her family had expected her to rent out the rooms as her father had done, but Tonya disliked having people underfoot. When she needed the money, she opened the rooms up for rent for a short while, but only when circumstances were desperate. She didn't care for the sort of people who rented on a weekly basis... they made her nervous and she was always glad when they left.

On some occasions she thought that maybe it would just be easier to sell the place now, but some long-buried attachment to her family's memory stopped her. After all, she had grown up here. And it was nice to have an entire building at her disposal. Granted, the mortgage payments were fierce, but with the advances she was making with her experiments those problems would soon be settled.

In the kitchen she peered through the refrigerator until she found something that was still edible. At least the milk was fresh, since she regularly bought a new carton each Thursday. Throwing together a rather sloppy sandwich, she went back up to her lab, pausing to click off the hallway lights as she went. Someday, she thought, she would have to install some sort of voice-activated command.

As she finished her sandwich, disregarding the crumbs left on the floor- her knowledge of chemicals assured her of no pest problems in the building- she winced as a bit of a commotion struck up a few buildings down the street. How she hated this area! Things like this were always going on outside- voices, screams, the occasional gunfire. It hardly frightened her, but it was irritating. One particular building had been a real problem over the past few days. Out of the blue someone had evidently moved in, and the first night had been the worst. Sounds resembling construction work had distracted her from her experiments for hours, until finally she'd given up and gone to bed at about 3 am. At least this disturbance was relatively quiet in comparison.

Attempting to regain her concentration so she could go back to work on her latest potion, she slammed the window shut and turned away, just in time to miss Beth Webfoot walk down the street.

Beth crept along uncertainly. Despite her assertion to Drake that she had a "secret weapon", now all she could think of was how much trouble she'd be in if it didn't work. But, she reasoned, Drake probably wouldn't be _too_ much longer; all she had to do was take the time to get the Stone, and then Darkwing Duck would show up and save the day- and her.

Finding the right building was harder at night than she'd expected it to be; she was disoriented and had to peer at the brick walls as they went by in order to remember which was which. Finally, however, she found the right place. She thought the building looked familiar, but when she saw the alleyway she was certain; you never forgot the places you got kidnapped from, she'd found. She examined the wall near the end of the alley, searching for the switch which the Eggmen had used earlier to take her inside. Unfortunately, she hadn't had the best view of the mechanism at the time, especially because she hadn't been expecting it. As she squinted, she managed to make out a small dark blotch on the side of the wall. Hoping that it was indeed a button, and not (as it appeared to resemble) just a big black bug, she reached out and pressed it.

Her gutsy move was rewarded with a shoosh sound as the wall slid open, revealing the corridor she distinctly remembered. Trying to keep herself from clapping her hands with delight, as was always her first instinct whenever she figured out something superhero-y, she took a deep breath and stepped into the dimly-lit corridor.

Only a few steps in, she found herself ambushed- facing Eggmen whom she also distinctly remembered, now holding guns which she very distinctly did _not_ remember. She gulped. "Um, hi... fellas. Remember me?" She fluttered her eyelashes and hoped this worked.

Evidently they did remember her, as their holds on the guns loosened and they beamed at her. She sighed in relief. "Hi again," she said. "Um, I hope you've been... okay since I was gone?" They nodded. Not much on words, it seemed.

The biggest one fished about in the pocket of his jumpsuit and came up with a handful of crushed flower petals. "I picked these for you," he said shyly, holding them out to her in his cupped hand. She smiled politely and thanked him. Without warning then, all three again grabbed her and ran with her down the corridor.

"Uh, guys, you really don't have to do this!" she yelped, but to no avail. They didn't set her down again until they'd entered the room she'd been in before. This time, however, it was empty. "W-where's Steelbeak?" she asked them. They looked at each other and shrugged blankly, then stared at her in open admiration. She smiled back at them, almost starting to enjoy herself. It was funny, from the look of things she could do no wrong with these guys. "So... can a girl get a seat around here?" she asked, batting her eyelashes again. They nearly knocked each other over trying to find her a chair.

A definite flurry of motion started in the nearby hallway, opposite the one she'd entered from. Footsteps came running towards the room, then slowed abruptly, and Steelbeak suddenly burst in. He stopped, straightened up, brushed some imaginary lint off of his jacket, and grinned at her.

Suddenly, she found she was terrified. Managing a nervous smile and wave, she said, "H-hi."

"Hey yerself," he said, walking over to her in a way that she thought was probably swaggering, although she'd never actually seen it done before. He pointed at her with the forefingers of both his hands, as if he were pretending to shoot her, and winked. She returned the gesture uncertainly. "So ya couldn't stay away, huh?"

Beth had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes. What a lame pick-up line. Oh, well. "Guess not," she said mildly. This wasn't so scary after all... If Steelbeak were coming on as strongly as Drake was, she couldn't have handled it. But this was just fine.

He approached her and tried to look casual. "Hey, uh, I gotcha some stuff," he said, and snapped his fingers. The Eggmen, looking more and more like the Three Stooges as they nearly knocked each other over in their hurry, brought in a handful of packages and jewelry boxes. Beth's eyes widened. He saw her look and grinned. "Just some stuff we had lyin' around."

Out of curiosity, she opened one of the boxes. Inside was a decidedly expensive-looking set of diamond earrings. She pushed the box away. "Oh, I really can't accept these," she said, hoping she didn't sound insulting. "I mean, they cost so much- I'm sorry, I'd love to, but-"

"Cost means nothin'," he said, taking out a small necklace set with emeralds and holding it up against her. "Wow, you'd look great in that!"

Beth found herself blushing. "Well, green _is_ a good colour on me," she said, flattered. She shook herself out of it. "But you know what I'd _really_ like to see, Steelbeak... darling?" His grin got kind of dopey as she used the endearment, and he shook his head. "I'm just dying to see the Philosophers' Stone."

"Okay," he said dumbly, and laughed. Then, coming out of it a little, he looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know what it is? Where'd ya hear about it?"

She stumbled for an excuse. "Gah, I... I read about it, and there's been some talk about it on the news, and well I just... put two and two together?"

He was silent, and her heart beat wildly. Then he gave her a fond smile. "You're smart. I like that." He pinched the underside of her bill affectionately, and then winked. "We just gotta getcha some new outfits and every man in the city'll know I'm the luckiest guy alive." The comment made her a little disgruntled- after all, she couldn't see anything wrong with the outfit she had on- but she tried not to let it show. He took her arm. "C'mon, I'll show ya the rock."

As he led her upstairs, he commented, "We're sort of stayin' to the basement, but that's not the only part of the building we're usin'. The upstairs is good for workin' at night." She nodded. "If ya want the guided tour later... Just ask." He winked.

The upstairs of the building was unremarkable. The staircase led to a gray hallway, tiled with dirty, flint-coloured linoleum and dimly lit by a flickering fluorescent light. After passing three doors which all looked exactly the same, Steelbeak pulled her into a small room that had a table in the centre and a safe in the corner. He knelt and spun in the combination, and then looked up at Beth and grinned before opening the safe door and taking out the gem inside. He hesitated for a moment, looking uncertain all of a sudden, and then carefully held it out for her to see.

Beth gasped, even though she had seen it earlier. It seemed as though it were glowing more brightly now, although that might have been a trick of the light or even just because she now knew what it was. "So that's the Philosopher's Stone," she said quietly, and reached out to touch it.

Steelbeak drew his hand back. "Sorry, babe, but this is worth a lotta money to me an' I can't take risks with it," he said. She did her best to look crestfallen, which was easy because it wasn't much of an act. It made him flustered. "Hey- hey, look, babe, y'know if it were up to me I'd _give_ the darn thing to ya... But I ain't the one in charge upstairs if ya know what I mean. Heck, I can't even figger out how it works."

Diving for the opportunity, Beth blurted out, "I bet I could make it work!"

He looked surprised, and then, to her immediate discomfort, mildly suspicious. "Do you even know what this is supposed to do?"

"Of course! I told you, I've read about it! It changes baser metals to gold, right? It was what early alchemists searched for in order to create the perfect metal- although that certainly doesn't look like metal, but I'd imagine the look of the stone doesn't necessarily determine the properties of it..."

His suspicious look disappeared, to be replaced with a look of fondness. "You like to talk, don't ya?" he asked, his tone making it clear that he found that endearing. "Yeah, so, you got it. That's what this does- or what it's supposed to do. I can't get it to do anything yet."

"But maybe I could," she tried again.

He looked tempted for a moment, then shook his head. "Nah. I can't take the risk- sorry, sugar, but it'd be puttin' you in jeopardy too. I'll just give it to FOWL High Command when they come to pick me up." He stuck the stone back in the safe, and took her arm. "Want me to show ya that sauna now, babe?"

Beth froze, at a loss for an answer. Obviously she needed to find another way to get the stone, but... A sauna? She gulped- planning ahead was never her strong suit, and frankly she'd never needed to with Darkwing around. Was this the sort of thing he would do- well, barring the fact that Steelbeak would never invite Darkwing into the sauna with him? It seemed like it was. She hoped this would work out okay, because she was really starting to feel in over her head. "Um... Okay?"

* * *

Even video games grew tiresome after a few hours, and Gosalyn reluctantly switched off the machine, knowing there wouldn't be much else to occupy her. She sighed, flipped around on the TV for a while, and finally gave up. She prodded Honker's shoulder. "How's it coming, Honk?"

Honker sighed. "Not so well," he answered. "I don't really have enough to work with, even with these notes." He held up a few of the sheets of scribbled symbols that he and Beth had been staring at all night. Gosalyn couldn't make heads or tails of them; frankly, she couldn't even tell which direction was up.

"Uh, wish I could help ya there..." she said half-heartedly.

"I know." Honker sighed. "According to these, Beth has a pretty good idea of what caused the reaction, but she still couldn't figure out the exact formula behind it- and without that, neither of us can figure out an antidote. None of my calculations are an effective inverse of the original!"

The only kind of Inverse Gosalyn knew about was a brand of clothing, so she kept silent.

"The only plus side," Honker went on, "is that from the different examinations over time, the formula seems to be more unstable than we originally thought and looks like it's steadily degrading. So there's actually a good chance that the effects on the brainwaves of those who encounter the pheromones is in direct positive correlation with how much exposure there was to the-"

The transport chairs whirled suddenly, interrupting Honker. Darkwing stood up hurriedly from the chairs, while Launchpad remained seated in the other one. "I'm on my way out," he said, obviously feeling rushed. "Just wanted to check and make sure everything was okay here, and you hadn't snuck out."

Gosalyn cleared her throat. "Uh, nope, we're all still here! All of us! Beth, too!"

"That's good," said Darkwing vaguely.

"But you can't see her!" Gosalyn added frantically. "She's in the bathroom or something- I mean, yeah, the bathroom. Definitely there."

Darkwing looked at her as though she were speaking in tongues. "Uh, good. As long as everything's fine here, I'll be going-"

Something was different here. "Uh, don't you _want_ to see Beth?" Gosalyn asked, puzzled.

Darkwing rolled his eyes. "Not any more than I normally do, if possible," he said exasperatedly. "Is there a point to this, or is this some kind of weird plot to get me to let you come along?"

"But-" Gosalyn was now quite confused, and she and Honker exchanged glances. Launchpad looked just as perplexed. "Isn't she your little love blossom?"

"_What_?!" Darkwing exclaimed, his face going pink.

Launchpad joined in the conversation. "Yeah, DW, didn't you ask her to marry you this afternoon?"

Darkwing's eyes looked like they were about to fall out of his head by now. "No! I never! What are you all talking about?!"

The other three exchanged looks that clearly all simultaneously said "Uh-oh."

"Then I was right!" Honker said quietly, checking his calculations again to confirm them. "Positively correlated!"

"Obviously everyone here is having a bad day for sanity," Darkwing muttered, still blushing intensely. "Well, tell Beth the engagement is off, if she's as deluded as you all are," he said as he sat back down on the chair. He was in the process of activating the transporters when Gosalyn remembered something.

"Oh no! Dad! Wait!!" He froze and looked at her. "Beth is going to need saving!"

Darkwing quirked an eyebrow at her. "I thought you said she was in the bathroom."

"Well, that was that thing I do that isn't really exactly lying, just kind of... bending the truth a little," Gosalyn said hastily. Before her father could argue with her, she said, "Beth snuck out a while ago to get the Philosopher's Stone from Steelbeak!"

Launchpad gasped. "What? Why??" Then he remembered the earlier part of the conversation they'd had in the kitchen, and what she'd said. A love spell, that affected all the men around her. Finally, he realized what she'd meant, why she'd seemed so worried that DW had proposed, so reassuring about the kiss he'd given her, and especially why she'd feel confident enough to go face Steelbeak on her own. "Uh-oh," he said, out loud this time.

Darkwing, meanwhile, looked put-upon, worried, and extremely angry at the same time. "After all the times I told her not to," he said, and glared at Gosalyn. "_You_ are having a bad influence on her, that's got to be it! I hope you were planning on telling me eventually!!"

"She asked me not to!" said Gosalyn defensively, and then seemed to realize what a dumb excuse that was. "Besides, she had a... sort of a secret weapon, but it turns out that's not going to work now."

Darkwing shook his head. "Well, at least she and Steelbeak are both going to be easy to find," he muttered, and slammed his hand down onto the head of the Basil statue on the centre table. The chairs whirled, and Honker and Gosalyn looked at each other nervously in their wake.


	8. Act VII

**Something in the Air**

* * *

Act VII

"You almost ready, babe?" Steelbeak called from the sauna room. She could see him from where she was standing, and was greatly embarrassed. Something about being invited to sit in a hot room with a strange man clad only in shorts was very, very nerve-wracking to her.

"Um, yes!" she called back, tiptoeing back away from the doorway to the sauna. Now that she'd gotten herself into this mess, she had no idea how to get back out of it. Plus, the heat coming from the room was so oppressive through her clothes that she was sweating intensely; she had no intention at all of shedding the least stitch of clothing, however.

She'd have to stall. "Um, Steelbeak?" she called timidly.

"Yeah, sugar?"

"Uh, I forgot my purse- I'll just go get it, okay?" She prayed that he wouldn't notice that she hadn't had a purse when she'd arrived.

He paused for a second, and then called back, "Whaddaya need a purse for in here?"

She caught her breath. "Uh- lipstick!"

"Oh. Okay!" She let out a sigh of relief, and he said, "Hurry back!"

_Not likely, you arrogant jerk_, she thought. Out loud, she said, "Of course!"

She slipped quickly back into the main room of the hideout, and then to the stairs Steelbeak had led her up earlier. From there, she assumed, it would be fairly easy to find the room that the Philosopher's Stone was kept in.

Too late, she found that making assumptions was _not_ a good idea. There were at least three doors down this hallway, all shut. She hadn't been paying enough attention earlier- which one was it?

Finding out took almost too long. Of course, it was the last one she checked, which unfortunately was also the last room of the three. But, she found as she flipped the lightswitch on, it was the right one! There was the safe! She knelt and tried it; naturally it was locked. She hadn't seen the numbers Steelbeak had twisted the dial to earlier, but maybe...

Crossing her fingers mentally, she tried entering Steelbeak's measurements as she'd estimated them to be. The safe swung open, and she clapped her hands happily before catching herself. She was going to _have_ to break that habit. Still, she had reason to be proud- she'd actually managed to accomplish her mission!

She held the Philosopher's Stone up in front of her face. It was truly amazing, so light in her hands, and its glow painted her hands a deep yellow.

The sleeve on the arm that grabbed her wrist was also a deep yellow, she noted just before panic jumped in her chest.

Steelbeak, now fully dressed again, didn't look happy, nor did his Eggmen standing behind him. "What's this?" he said, dangerously quiet.

"I-uh- I... I was going to try to make it work for you," she said desperately.

He shook his head. "I trusted you. I can't believe you did this."

Beth actually felt sorry for him. She _had_ taken advantage of his feelings, after all. Suddenly she couldn't bring herself to lie. "I- I... I didn't mean to, but... Steelbeak, I'm really sorry..."

He blinked, his expression turning odd suddenly as he stared past her. When he focused on her again, he took a step back and signalled to the Eggmen to grab her. "Y'know, as much as I don't like intruders, FOWL High Command is even less thrilled with 'em," he said casually, plucking the stone from her hand and setting it down on an agonizingly close by table. Beth struggled against the thugs holding her, to no avail. Steelbeak looked at her closely, as if seeing her for the first time. "You're not my type," he announced, "but that'll just make it that much easier to get rid of ya."

She was confused for a moment, then blinked. The potion! It must have worn off! Her stomach plummeted into her knees as she realized how stupid she was for not considering this turn of events. She tried one last time. "Steelbeak, please... Didn't I mean anything to you?"

Evidently when the potion's effects wore off, the memory of the effects went with it. Steelbeak gave her a pitying look. "Chill out, babe, it ain't like we had a history or nothin'!" He turned to the door and beckoned to the Eggmen holding her prisoner. "C'mon, boys, let's take her down and cage her up until FOWL High Command tells us what to do. She might be a good hostage, too." He smiled at her coldly. "I hear it's shark season," he said simply, and chuckled.

The panic that had been rising in Beth's chest burst through all of a sudden, and she screamed.

* * *

Someone screamed from the building down the street; Tonya heard it quite distinctly even through the closed window, and it startled her so that she added twice as much magnesium powder to the mixture as she'd meant. That was the final straw! She put her instruments down carefully, resisting the temptation to throw them across the room, and stalked off down the hall towards the elevator. Sure, she could just call the police on them from here, but her temper was so high that she was actually yearning for the argument that would surely result when she confronted them.

She was actually disappointed- and further frustrated- when no one answered her bangs on the front door. She doubled her efforts, still to no avail. So she tried the doorknob, but it was firmly locked- and, she noticed for the first time, the keyhole had wood lodged in it. From the looks of things this building was abandoned, so who...?

The noises were continuing from inside, so she knew it was indeed this building. Well, someone had to teach the occupants a lesson. She was going to get inside if it killed her. She wandered around to the side of the building, ending up down an alleyway, and was surprised to see a light coming from one of the windows. Not just candlelight or a flashlight, but a real overhead, electricity type light. If they were bums in there, how did they have the electricity on?

She decided to ignore the mystery and stood on her tiptoes to try and see into the window. It was significantly over her head, but she could see a table on the far side of the room which had some objects on it, including a cut jewel of some kind that seemed to be glowing in the light. No, she realized, it was glowing on its own! Something about it was hauntingly familiar, in fact. She stared at it, intrigued and filled with the irresistable urge to examine it more closely, if only she could find a way to open this window...

* * *

Beth paced nervously around the confines of the cage she'd been put in. She wondered why Gosalyn always wanted to join Darkwing on his cases, if it turned out this way for her at any time. She was determined not to let Steelbeak see how scared she really was, however; he was smug enough as it was. Trying to look confident, she said, "Darkwing Duck will come rescue me!"

This, she found out immediately, was a mistake. Steelbeak turned almost as red as his comb and for a moment she thought steam was going to come out of his ears. Then he shook himself into a slightly more dignified pose, and straightened his tie. "Figures," he muttered. "Everything I do seems to come back to that duck somehow. But I got the upper hand as long as I got you as a hostage!" Looking suave again, he laughed- that same staccato laugh she had heard him use several times when they'd first met. Her heart sank; she'd practically played right into FOWL's hands. It seemed that no matter what she did, she messed things up further.

* * *

Tonya looked around for something to break the window with, and found nothing. It figured; when she had a bad day, she had the _worst_ day. The gem up there was obviously just a cosmic joke, another way to make her feel worse, by dangling an amazing thing in front of her and not letting her have it.

She heaved a frustrated sigh and began schlumping back to her building. This, she thought, must be the sort of day that turned people into criminals. When she reached the end of the alleyway, she heard noises behind her and half-turned, expecting to see rats scurrying in the filth behind her.

Instead she saw movement just beneath- and then in- the window she'd been examining. Her eyes widened- whatever it had been, it was gone now, but she ran back to the window anyway.

The glass was gone from it, but it hadn't been broken- someone had used a glass-cutter on it, rather expertly in fact. So someone had broken in? But, she double-checked to make sure, the stone was still there. Well, if there was one set of thieves in there, they'd be blamed for anything missing. Including the stone. There was a set of cardboard boxes in the corner, and she set about piling them below the window to get a higher position to climb inside.

* * *

Darkwing crept along the hallways, which were much dimmer than the room he'd entered from. Launchpad kept pace behind him.

"DW?" Launchpad whispered. Darkwing whirled on him and violently shushed him. Launchpad cowed, and whispered even more softly, "I- I was just wonderin' why we came in this way, instead of through the wall passage?"

"Because," Darkwing whispered in response, "they no doubt have alarms all over the place in that passage, and they're probably expecting us to boot! We'll have some advantage of surprise this way." He fell silent again, and beckoned Launchpad to follow. It would have been so much easier if Beth weren't involved! She always had to stick her beak into things, didn't she? Well, she was just trying to help, but she should know by now that he didn't _need_ help! And when he did, Launchpad was there! Now he had to go about this twice as carefully, to make sure nothing happened to her.

They found the staircases to the basement, where Steelbeak had been stationed before. Darkwing listened carefully, then turned to Launchpad and mouthed, 'They're down there!' Launchpad nodded. Darkwing loaded the gas gun with a smoke canister, and kept a grappling hook ready, then they snuck down the stairs.

Steelbeak and the Eggmen were keeping their eyes on the passageway from the side of the building, which due to the setup of the building meant that they were facing away from the staircase. It took him a few moments of searching to realize that Beth was huddled at the back of a medium-sized cage in the room's corner. Good- out of the way of the fight. No problem, he thought.

Darkwing aimed his gun about midway across the room, and fired, then quickly shoved the grappling hook into the gun. Then he fired the hook to the ceiling above where the smoke was now exploding. Time to start the intro, too. He switched on the mini-amplifier he kept in his sleeve for entrances like these, and spoke into it.

_"I am the Terror That Flaps in the Night!"_

Steelbeak did a startled take, looking like he was about to break a blood vessel. "What?! How did he get in here? That's impossible!!" He looked around and saw the open staircase door. "GAH!!! I _knew_ it!!"

"I am the nail that blows out the tire on your getaway car! I... am DARKWIIIIING DUCK!" With that, Darkwing swung out of the smoke and kicked an Eggman over before landing. "No applause necessary, please," he added smugly.

"Don't worry about that," Steelbeak snarled. "C'mon Eggmen- you know what to do!" They nodded and opened fire. Darkwing evaded them, flipping about the room and occasionally landing a blow on an Eggman. He was obviously teasing them, Beth noticed. She tried to catch his attention and let him know that she was okay, but he didn't even seem to look at her. His attention was focused completely on Steelbeak and the Eggmen. As one of the Eggmen in question got tossed to the side and hit the wall of her cage, she cringed. If Darkwing wasn't going to do anything, then... where was Launchpad?

She saw him a little ways across the room, not yet noticed by the FOWL agents but evidently not sure what to do. Despite the situation, she felt relief just at seeing him. As soon as the Eggman near her cage stood and ran back into the fight, she dared to try and talk to him. At least any noise she made was under the cover of gunfire. "Launchpad, get the key!"

"What?"

"The _key_!!"

"Oh!" he said, and looked around for it, then looked back at her questioningly. "Where is it?"

"Uh..." Uh-oh. She wasn't sure. "I think one of the Eggmen has it!"

He looked stricken. "Do you know which one?"

"The... the one Darkwing knocked out?" she guessed. She looked at him and became pretty certain. "Yeah, it's him!"

Launchpad shot her a thumbs-up sign and tried to sneak over to the unconscious Eggman. Darkwing, meanwhile, had recovered his gas gun and shot a canister of something at the remaining Eggmen. They were incapacitated by coughs. Beth saw Steelbeak back out of the gas cloud, however, and grope for a weapon. Some of the gas reached her and she began coughing lightly, too. _Hurry, Launchpad,_ she thought to herself. This was only going to get worse from here, she was certain.

He stood up from the Eggman's body, triumphantly holding up a ring of keys, and ran over to her. Nearby, Steelbeak opened fire into the gas cloud, trying to tag Darkwing. Launchpad fumbled his way through the keys and tried each on in turn, without success. "Must be this one," he said, holding up the last key confidently. Beth frowned, and clung to the cage bars in fear. He turned it and they both relaxed when they heard the lock give.

"Thank goodness!" Beth exclaimed, and propelled herself out of the cage and into Launchpad's arms.

"You okay?" he asked her, for the second time that day.

"Déja vu," she mumbled, then smiled up at him. "Yeah. The spell wore off of Steelbeak though." She looked over to where the FOWL agent was standing; he was looking about wildly for Darkwing, but didn't see him. She hoped he hadn't been shot.

Steelbeak suddenly saw Launchpad and Beth, and his eyes grew wide. "No way! You're _our_ hostage!" he yelled, and aimed the gun at them. Launchpad threw himself in front of Beth protectively, just as Darkwing swung out of the dispersing gas behind Steelbeak and knocked him over.

"You want to settle this here, or should we take it outside?" he quipped. Steelbeak snarled in answer and got to his feet, then threw a punch at Darkwing. Launchpad took advantage of the distraction to swoop Beth up and carry her to the staircase.

"That was too close," he said, setting her down at the doorway, and then following her up the stairs. They both stopped then, catching their breaths, the dim monotony of the hallway muting the memory of the danger below.

Darkwing had barely even looked at her, Beth realized. It sunk in then, that the potion had worn off of him, as well. She felt a deep sense of regret well up inside her. "He's back to normal too, isn't he?" she asked quietly.

Launchpad seemed uncomfortable, but put a hand on her shoulder. "Yeah," he said gently. "It wore off him just before we came."

She put her hand over his for a moment, then looked up at him. "What about you?"

He gulped, surprised, and muttered, "Uh, heh-heh, yeah... Seems to have gone off me, too!" He chuckled and grinned at her, and somehow she was utterly unconvinced. If he was no longer in love with her, why wasn't he behaving the same way as Darkwing? Why wasn't he more focused on the fight? Of course, he'd always spent more time paying attention to her, but it was like nothing had changed while he was under the spell.

Suddenly, out of the blue, she remembered why she had come, and gasped. "The Philosopher's Stone! We have to get it- I know where it is!" She grabbed him by his hand and dragged him along the hall.

* * *

It was the most incredible thing Tonya had ever seen. The amber-coloured stone glowed steadily in her hands, its light powerful enough to give a solid colouring to her feathers. She turned it over several times in her hands, trying to find some clue about what it was, but aside from observing the smoothness of its cut and how deceptively light it was, it didn't give any hints. It was like nothing she'd ever seen, anywhere.

One thing was clear: this was no ordinary stone.

She had to possess it. She would take it home and test it until she found out what it was, and if it did anything or was worth anything. Maybe she could be its official discoverer. But more than that, she was sure it had power- power she needed, for herself.

She held it in front of her face and stared into it, past the multiple reflections of her own weary amber-coloured face, into the centre. Something pulsed there, a light which almost seemed alive.

A noise sounded from the hallway. Tonya's heart skipped in her chest; the thieves were coming back! Well, this was one object they'd never get! She skittered to the window and tossed herself out of it, landing heavily on the sidewalk outside and feeling her ankle twist uncomfortably. She forced herself to hobble quickly out of the alleyway, before she was seen, ignoring the surges of pain until she was back on the well-lit street.

Beth burst into the room Tonya had just exited. "It's in here!" she said breathlessly. Launchpad came in right after her. "Yes! It's definitely in this room, that's the safe it was in!" she pointed. Looking around the room, she didn't spot it, so she said, "They must have put it back."

As Beth knelt at the safe to re-enter the combination, Launchpad looked around. "Hey, this is the room DW and I came in through!" He looked down at Beth when she gave a whine of disappointment. "What's wrong?"

"It's not in here," she said, shutting the door to the safe again. "I should have known this wouldn't be easy. Do you see it anywhere? It's a dark orange-yellow kind of colour and it glows."

Launchpad was pretty sure he would have noticed something like that by now, but he looked around obligingly. When Beth started to search more thoroughly through the objects in the room, particularly on and around the table by the door, he did the same.

* * *

"Open fire, ya stupid jerks!" Steelbeak shrieked at the Eggmen. The henchmen, still weak from coughing, did as ordered- unfortunately without waiting for Steelbeak to get out of the line of fire near Darkwing. He covered his head and darted to the side, then used the opportunity of Darkwing's distraction to search for more heavy-duty weapons.

The weapons room was right nearby- as was pretty much everything they figured they'd need any time soon. He grabbed a handful of heavy-duty firearms and ran back in to the fighting room. That duck was gonna pay for messing up his suit! Did he have any idea how much white suede cost to have cleaned?!

Darkwing was getting a pretty decent workout avoiding the shots from the Eggmen. Nothing out of the ordinary; they weren't armed very heavily this time around and would probably run out of ammo shortly. In fact, Darkwing figured he was probably working off that cheesecake he'd polished off a few days ago.

Then Steelbeak ran back in, and Darkwing's eyes went wide when he saw the FOWL agent taking aim with a small missile launcher.

"DWAAH!" he bellowed, diving to the side just as the wall behind where he had been standing exploded.

Steelbeak was furious. Rather than reuse the same weapon after it failed, he tossed it aside and grabbed a bazooka, then tried to aim as Darkwing ran around the room desperately. Shots were fired, and zoomed past the fleeing hero only to explode against the walls. The foundation of the building was being destroyed, and the walls began to shake.

"Stop it, you idiot!" he screamed as he ran. "You're going to bring the whole place down on us!"

"I don't care," Steelbeak yelled back at him over the roar of the explosions, "as long as it gets you!!!"

Darkwing wondered if he'd live to be able to take advantage of the fact that Steelbeak's hatred of him overran his own self-preservation.

An ominous rumbling began, and the Eggmen looked at each other and scattered out of the building. Steelbeak ignored it, dropping the tommy gun he'd been using and picking up a flame thrower. Darkwing took advantage of the pause to aim his gas gun and fire a canister at random at the irate villain; it impacted and Steelbeak's eyes went wide as he dropped the weapon and squirmed about, itching madly.

Darkwing breathed a sigh of relief. "Gotcha!" he said, and handcuffed Steelbeak as quickly as he could while the rooster glared daggers at him. He looked around for Launchpad and Beth, but saw no sign of them; were they still in the building? From the way this place was shaking, they'd better not be!

Searching for them with Steelbeak in tow wasn't likely to work, since the agent wouldn't likely be very quick to help him look. So, should he stay with Steelbeak to make sure he stayed captured, or go after his friends?

Well, there was very little choice in the matter, really.

As soon as Darkwing ran out of the room, Steelbeak bit through the metal chains of the handcuffs in one strong chomp and dashed for the passageway out of the building.

It didn't take Darkwing long to find Beth and Launchpad; they were in the room he and Launchpad had come in through, the only one with a light in it. Relieved, he ran to the window and beckoned them to follow. "Come on! Steelbeak trashed the foundation and the building's going to collapse any second now!"

"That's what this shaking is?" Launchpad asked, following Darkwing to the window.

"Yep! Come on, Beth!"

Beth didn't move, but kept looking around the room desperately. "But- the Philosopher's Stone!"

"Forget it! It's a lost cause now!"

"No!" She shook her head, a determined look on her face. "It was my responsibility, and I'm going to find it! What if it gets destroyed?" She was interrupted by a loud crash outside the room as something, probably a wall, collapsed. "Drake, think of the loss to the scientific community! To the world! This could make building _anything_ possible if applied correctly!"

He could barely hear her now over the rumbling. "Get her, LP," he said to his sidekick, who nodded and then picked Beth up and physically carried her to the window. The protests she yelled along the way were almost inaudible by now. They jumped out of the window just in time, as the windowsill gave while Launchpad was holding onto it. Within the next few moments, the walls folded like paper and soon all that was left was a pile of rocks, a cloud of dust, and the barely visible traces of what seemed to be a sauna poking up near the top.

Beth, who had long since stopped struggling and was clinging to Launchpad during the implosion, sighed sadly and rested her head against Launchpad's chest. Launchpad made no move to put her down. Looking back at the building, she said, "It's my fault, isn't it? I messed it all up."

Darkwing poked his foot into the rubble, and shook his head. "No, it isn't," he replied. "You had nothing to do with the building collapsing. This sort of thing happens a lot more than you'd think."

"But the stone. I should have grabbed it when I had the chance." She shook her head, still feeling guilty, and wriggled her way out of Launchpad's arms. He reluctantly set her down.

"SHUSH will probably agree that it's better that it didn't fall into the wrong hands," Darkwing said as she joined him to peer into the rubble. "Besides, maybe they'll be able to get another one someday!"

"But-" She sighed again. "How do we know that it didn't fall into the wrong hands? What if it wasn't destroyed, what if Steelbeak has it?"

Darkwing grinned. "Oh, don't worry about Steelbeak. I've got backup." He indicated the front of the building, and she saw that some of the occupants of what she had assumed were ambulances here to take care of anyone hurt in the building's collapse were actually SHUSH agents. They were now holding onto Steelbeak and a couple of Eggmen. Darkwing gave them a salute, and they returned it before herding the FOWL agents into their unmarked cars and driving off. "If Steelbeak knows where the stone is, they'll get it out of him."

Relieved, Beth smiled. "Well, I guess it's not so bad then," she said, and forced all her will into throwing her arms around Darkwing and hugging him affectionately. "Thank you so much for rescuing me, Drake," she said quietly.

He became flustered, obviously uncomfortable, and patted her on the back awkwardly as he gave her a loose hug in return. "Hey, I'm Darkwing Duck, it's my job, what'd you expect?" he said in a half-mumble. "And ix-nay with the Ake-dray in ublic-pay, alright?"

She slipped away from him, forcing a smile. "Sorry... I forgot. It just ... slipped out." As he walked down the street to where they'd left the Ratcatcher, she followed silently, well behind him. Launchpad walked just behind her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"No- no, it's okay," she said, shaking her head. "Really. I mean, I knew... I knew it was too good to be, you know, true." She cleared her throat, trying to keep the tears down. "And it really wasn't the right way to have someone l...love me. Let alone him. I know that." She took a deep breath and tried to smile at Launchpad, which was a mistake as it only seemed to make the tears closer to the surface. "Besides, it's like they say... It's better t-to have loved and lost, than to..." She couldn't finish the thought, instead dissolving into tears and burying her face in her hands. Launchpad stopped walking and put his arms around her, and signaled to Darkwing that they'd catch up later.

* * *

Down the street, Tonya was barely aware of the crash and the sirens outside. Her new possession fascinated her, and she set up a place for it on her lab table, putting aside the love potion for the time being. Tomorrow she would begin the tests to see what it did, but for now, she was content just to look at it... and dream of the future.

* * *

Next: Beth Discovers Her Limits!

* * *

_A/N: So that's it - only one more story to go and then we hit the part of continuity I haven't written yet. :P The good news is that I'm actually WORKING ON IT AGAIN! I've been blocked on the story I'm doing now for more than seven years, but it's finally coming. _

_We have not seen the last of Tonya Skitting. Granted, I haven't written anything for her since I wrote this story - nearly 8 years ago (OH GOD how can it have been that long?!), but she's got a big part to play. _

_When I wrote this, I hadn't even read any of Harry Potter, so the first HP book was not at all an influence. I don't even need to mention that Fullmetal Alchemist didn't even EXIST yet, so as much as I'm a huge fan of that series, it also had no inspiration on this story. _

_I don't think I have any other notes to leave this time. Until later!_

* * *

Story and situation © 1999-2000 by R. Littlehales. All characters © the Walt Disney Co. except Beth Webfoot and Tonya Skitting, both of whom are the creation of the author. I have played fast and loose with many things in this story, notably alchemy, the Philosopher's Stone, and the exact workings of pheromones. Forgive me? This story is the property of R. Littlehales, and may not be copied, distributed, archived, or altered from its original form without express permission of the author. You may not make any money off this story. You may not eat off this story. You may not particularly care. You may think I'm delirious for doin' the things I do... You may think I'm crazy, but all I want is you.


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